Deep Spirits

MR DERMOT:

I have a feeling that a lot of the anger that comes into play when a partner is being 'hit on' is actually jealousy rearing its head, especially when its a man witnessing his partner being the 'victim'.

COME ON, MR DERMOT ======= WITNESSING HIS partner being a VICTIM.

CAN you read Women's minds accurately???? (........ being a victim. )))))

Thinking more about this and trying to discuss an assumption, regardless of it's source......

Ryan wrote:
...
"Instead, the question is how to treat the guy who is disrespecting my marriage with his subtle and secretive flirtations."

It occurs to me that if two people become friends, there will probably always be interaction and behaviour that can be interpreted as "subtle and secretive" flirtation. I think the answer is to treat people innocent until proven guilty.

Assuming intent from "from subtle and secretive" actions and then trying to figure out how to treat the "guy" whose intent you have assumed from subtleties of his behaviour sounds like anyone who is looking for that intent will probably find it. So maybe the question should be......"What part of a friendship between a wife and another man is really disrespecting a marriage and how do you decide that is what is happening and what should be done about it."

It is definitely a test for mutual love and understanding and to pass it, I think both partners have to assume that their partners response to questions about their "intent" with regard to their interaction with a "new friend" should be taken at face value.

dermot wrote:Love should be selfless?

Yes, but "should" it really?
In another topic we have been discussing if anything can really be called "selfless" and while I am one to say that it is possible, I am not sure if romantic love falls into that category.
Aspects of romantic love can be selfless, but that still doesn't mean that everything about the relationship is (or should be) absolutely 100% selfless.. I am not sure if I'm explaining this well, but I hope it is clear what I mean.

dermot wrote:Lots of the time, people project their own attitudes onto their parnter. Someone who constantly suspects his partner of cheating for example, is possibly thinking of doing it themselves, or would if the opportunity arose.

Sure, true that, but that is not really what we've been talking about.

dermot wrote:Marriage would then be a continous decision to give oneself to another, as long as this union shall grow........rather than till death us do part?

Yes, agreed. You remember my "article" on the institution of marriage, right? :)