Deep Spirits

"That is what happened to me. I understood that it was no casual indisposition but something very important, and that if these questions constantly repeated themselves they would have to be answered. And I tried to answer them. The questions seemed such stupid, simple, childish ones; but as soon as I touched them and tried to solve them I at once became convinced, first, that they are not childish and stupid but the most important and profound of life's questions; and secondly that, occupying myself with my Samara estate, the education of my son, or the writing of a book, I had to know why I was doing it. As long as I did not know why, I could do nothing and could not live. Amid the thoughts of estate management which greatly occupied me at that time, the question would suddenly occur: "Well, you will have 6,000 desyatinas of land in Samara Government and 300 horses, and what then?" And I was quite disconcerted and did not know what to think. Or when considering plans for the education of my children, I would say to myself: "What for?" Or when considering how the peasants might become prosperous, I would suddenly say to myself: "But what does it matter to me?" Or when thinking of the fame my works would bring me, I would say to myself, "Very well; you will be more famous than Gogol or Pushkin or Shakespeare or Molière, or than all the writers in the world--and what of it?" And I could find no reply at all. The questions would not wait, they had to be answered at once, and if I did not answer them it was impossible to live. But there was no answer.

I felt that what I had been standing on had collapsed and that I had nothing left under my feet. What I had lived on no longer existed, and there was nothing left. "
A Confession, 3. Chapter
Leo Tolstoy
http://www.deepspirits.com/great-people/leo-tolstoy/confession1.php

I have been enjoying this beautiful piece of art and couldn’t resist not recommending it as a great contemplation about life to everybody who also tries to find out personal truth about life and has similar questions like: What is life for? What does it lead to? , as Leo Tolstoy had. He, who was great writer, mystic and most of all true deep spirit, expressed his path in this confession. This is very inspiring for looking deeper into the personal quest for Truth.

Mirjana

pineal wrote:...
In some point or other every body thinks of these fundamental questions, may be for few seconds at least. But a thinker, a deep spirit in your saying, thinks about these questions several times, in several occasions. That is the difference.
...
Pineal

Yes, Pineal, you are right. That is why I love Leo Tolstoy’s book "A Confession". It is an inner dialogue about the life’s question, a dialogue that evolves with a time and life’s maturity showing the beauty of everything that life is as well as how personal our approach to this beauty is.
In his 7 Chapter, Leo Tolstoy has come to the point to meet Death as an answer for Life’s questions. Some great sages and minds are called to help him to figure this out. Death as a Life threatening enemy that caries Fear as a helper to make this life hard to live, appears in his confession as well:
"And Sakya Muni could find no consolation in life, and decided that life is the greatest of evils; and he devoted all the strength of his soul to free himself from it, and to free others; and to do this so that, even after death, life shall not be renewed any more but be completely destroyed at its very roots. So speaks all the wisdom of India.

These are the direct replies that human wisdom gives when it replies to life's question.

"The life of the body is an evil and a lie. Therefore the destruction of the life of the body is a blessing, and we should desire it," says Socrates.

"Life is that which should not be--an evil; and the passage into Nothingness is the only good in life," says Schopenhauer.

"All that is in the world--folly and wisdom and riches and poverty and mirth and grief--is vanity and emptiness. Man dies and nothing is left of him. And that is stupid," says Solomon.

"To life in the consciousness of the inevitability of suffering, of becoming enfeebled, of old age and of death, is impossible--we must free ourselves from life, from all possible life," says Buddha.

And what these strong minds said has been said and thought and felt by millions upon millions of people like them. And I have thought it and felt it.

So my wandering among the sciences, far from freeing me from my despair, only strengthened it. One kind of knowledge did not reply to life's question, the other kind replied directly confirming my despair, indicating not that the result at which I had arrived was the fruit of error or of a diseased state of my mind, but on the contrary that I had thought correctly, and that my thoughts coincided with the conclusions of the most powerful of human minds.

It is no good deceiving oneself. It is all--vanity! Happy is he who has not been born: death is better than life, and one must free oneself from life. "

As an opposite of Life, Death becomes a choice when some people come to the end of their quest about the Truth of Life.
Tolstoy has taken it in his contemplation as well.
Some people say that all philosophy of death is here just to make Life Light more visible and appreciable so that we can seize the day.
Your thoughts?


Mirjana

When you was born you cried and people rejoiced.
Live your life so when you die people will Cry
and You will Rejoice.
Many cultures have had some wise person who determined
this is the purpose of living...

Alvino,
I cannot imagine better words to express the whole beauty this man left behind him. Brilliant writer, true philosopher, great sage and deeply human Being.
It is nice that Sabina opened another topic about the movie that is made about his last years.
leo-tolstoy-the-last-station-t321.html
Mirjana