What keeps me trying to understand all this?

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What keeps me trying to understand all this?

Postby raven » Thu Mar 15, 2012 3:30 pm

I am brand new to this whole concept of spirituality. For some reason, though it all seems beyond silly - wishfull thinking, "I-want-a-rainbow-shitting-unicorn," stupidity - I keep returning to it again and again, trying to understand whatever it is I am apparently missing.

Growing up religion was something I was taught to scoff at and as far as the major religions go - and ALL the people who claim to be adherants - I still do scoff, and likely always will.

Before you condem me for that attitude, I went so far as to learn ancient Greek, by transcribing the oldest remaining fragments (for Christianity - I didn't bother going that deep into the other major religions, as early investigations showed that they all did the same things) of the Bible, to compare what we have today to those parchment pieces - and they were wrote 400 years after Christ was crucified (if he was) - and was left disgusted by preachers everywhere. I am better read and knowledgable about their history than they are, and still they will argue with me - claim that my lack of faith is coloring my views. Sorry, but changing "No Judges; No judgement" into "Judge not lest ye be judged" is a blatant use of fear tactics to pacify the ignorant.

But I digress.

This idea of searching for truth within oneself makes a lot more sense, but I am having difficulty with many of the concepts expressed over and over again regardless of which particular "flavor" of new age spirituality one investigates.

Some examples:

1.) There is no right or wrong, save what we imagine within ourselves a situation to be. This strikes me as beyond foolish. Rape isn't wrong? A child dying of preventable hunger every 4 seconds isn't wrong? Hitler wasn't wrong? The woman who posted on here about letting go of the anger she felt when she heard the neighbor beating his dog did the right thing? I'd've kicked the neighbors a$$ ⊗ around the block and then I'd've stolen his dog and dared him to try taking it back - that would've been the right thing to do.... I think.

Damn you all for being part of whatever it is that's making me second-guess myself.



2.) Existance is limitless, infinite possibility, and you can imagine anything you want and it will be so. Really? Great, imagine yourself a different color set of eyes. Levitate without mechanical or other aid. Cure world hunger and war. That's what I thought. There are always provisos. I am not trying to be deliberately arguementative. I am trying to clear up a seemingly imposible statement "you" all claim to be a fact. You say potential is limitless. If it is limitless, than wishing for a new eye color would make it so. So prove to me that it is so. If you can't, then the claim needs to be re-worded.

3.) The world will be different if you see the glass as half full, rather than half empty. And what if you see it as neither of those? I see it as used, and now in need of cleaning; which I'll end up doing 'cause you'll still be busy trying to prove your point. I also see it as a horrific use of energy; a rather useless ( in a cost/benefit analysis ratio) waste of humanities time and effort.

FYI, if I was to be asked to pick up a glass from a table, and there was a choice - one like the one described above and an empty one - I would say: "Do you mean the half-full one?" I say this to show that my choice of words to describe the glass doesn't change "me" or the world at all... I'm still one of the most negative (I see it as neither negative nor positive - I see it as correctly interpreting a negative existance - the world doesn't need to be this way; stupid, greedy, lazy, comfort-seeking people make it so.) people you will ever meet, and the glass is still dirty.

Kind of like driving a bunch of men and huge machines into some remote area, drilling for oil, driving that to a refinery, transfering some of the refined material to another truck, moving that to another factory, forming it into several types of chemicals, shipping those to a third factory, forming a plastic fork, putting those in a truck, shipping them to a warehouse, storing them, then sending them via (yet another) truck to your local fast-food joint which you drove to and calling it a convienience.

30 gallons of crude spent so you can use a plastic fork ONCE! to eat 30% beef that the liars in marketting will tell you is "made with 100% pure beef".... which the 30% meat part of the patty is 100% pure, so they didn't really lie.

Beyond stupid - yet to "you" all it isn't right or wrong. To me it is criminal, and needs to be stopped by ANY means necessary - though I lack the courage to go it alone.

4.) Can't remember if it was here or not, but somewhere I saw it claimed that animals and plants have no concept of time, that they live entierly in the "now" and that we should aspire to be more like them. Again, the sustainability crowd, et. al., fail mightily: They apparently know little about the natural world. ALL animals, at least beyond (evolutionarily speaking) the reptilian stage, are aware of time. Ravens, crows, magpies, etc. hide food for later. Pigeons in London show up just in time to catch train rides into the countryside in the morning, and ride them back at night. Earthworms have been taught to run mazes... WORMS!... which shows they can remember the past. Dogs will pick themselves off their favorite sleeping spot and move to the door just before the kids get home from school, but before the bus is anywhere near enough for them to hear. So what is it about animals we are to be emulating? They no more live entierly in the "now" than we do.

I've lots more, but am kind of testing the waters, so to speak, of this site before I jump in head-first. Many times I've found that questions such as these are either dismissed out of hand, or are greeted with anger and hostility - like I am attacking (and I know I come across that way sometimes) rather than just trying to understand. For me to accept another viewpoint from the one I currently hold I argue it out. Toss ideas around, try to tear yours down while defending my own, untill - in my mind at least - a winner is declared. Then I side with the winner - if it is you, then I take your position as my own. If it is me, then pretty much everything else you have to say from that point on is now suspect - which I am trying to stop doing, but over and over again I'm proven that dismissing the rest of what you say is the surer bet, so trying to be open minded when faced with a new arguement (discussion, disagreement, difference of opinion..... call it what you will) is very hard.

Unfortunately, so far, the winner has almost always been me. I am so sick of winning - it's lonely being the only realist on the planet. I'll refer you back to point 3.) above.

To close, I'd like to share a poem I wrote. I've heard it said that quiet contemplation is recommended. That stillness and silence is the only way to come to peace with yourself. Here's what I got from being quiet (lived in the mountains for three summers/two winters - virtually completely off the land and human-contact free) and listening to the stillness:

The Sound of Silence

Have you ever heard the sound that the world must make,
In these times of little give and way too much take,
And wondered just how long it'll take to break,
Have you ever heard the sound of silence?

Find a calming quiet spot where you alone are found,
Where natures noise is silence and there is no other sound,
And gaze the breadth of earth 'pared to pay a fleshy pound,
You're about to hear the sound of silence.

Last wail of a child might be the first non-sound you hear,
Whose hunger, fear, and failing is what drove each single tear,
Death to them delivered, bought by Mammon much too near,
It's disturbing, this haunted sound of silence.

Healthy breath of wetland choked by a chemical-asthma wheeze,
Lifes blood of lake and river tainted by each puff of breeze,
And still we think dominion means: Do what you fudging ⊗ please.
Why can't you hear the sound of silence?

- by Graham Fraser
A man should be mourned at his birth, not at his death.

- Charles de Secondat (Jan. 1689 - Feb. 1755)
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Re: What keeps me trying to understand all this?

Postby dermot » Fri Mar 16, 2012 4:50 pm

Hi Raven, welcome to DS, you have lots to say and i really dont think i have much to say in response!

It strikes me that you have set up the piece you wrote with the assumption that there is an 'us' and a 'you'?
Do you not think / consider that maybe 'we' have all the abilities, the confusion, the turmoil that you have?
Because you choose to occupy the not very comfortable chair in order to protest your points, do 'we' have to assume the comfy guilt ridden leather recliner in order for your points to be driven home?

Truth is no matter where we come from, whether its new age hippydom, or old school vengence is mine sayeth the Lord, there is in life countless opportunities to throw stones and feel good for doing so.

The emphasis of your finely chosen words seems to come from an outward focus....how about directing that focus within and telling us how you feel about you, who are you?

Who are you really?

Are you the ego or the observer of all that happens, of all your thoughts...or are you your thoughts?

Take it inside and ask the questions.....from the peom you have written i dont see you having any problem doing that =0)

[color=#a3ec14]....the heart only whispers, be still and listen....[/color]
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