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Those Ah So Giving People

PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 12:06 am
by Sabina
This came out of the blue... completely. I thought of some people I've met, people who thought of themselves as giving, or "too giving" even. They thought they were givers.
Ok, who am I to argue with that.

However, get to know them a little better and you start getting the real picture. It seems that people who describe themselves as "giving" simply have so little to give, that whatever they do (decide to) give, seems like so much to them. So they victimize themselves and play the poor giving creatures that they are not. In most cases they are exactly the opposite. Rather self-centered and selfish than anything else.

I have met some genuinely giving people (not many as they are quite rare, but they do exist) and giving is, for them, a pure pleasure. True "givers" don't give for the wrong reasons. They don't give in order to receive love, or in order to be appreciated but simply because it pleases them to give. They are virtually unaware of how much they give because, to them, it is normal. Completely normal. A real giver doesn't suffer, neither consciously nor unconsciously, because they give. They only get pleasure out of it.

I just felt like sharing this, but as always, I am also very interested to hear other people's opinions or experiences.

Re: Those Ah So Giving People

PostPosted: Tue Dec 07, 2010 3:26 pm
by mirjana
I like very much your sharing and agree with your remarks.
I have always admired most of the following thoughts of the great poet about giving.


Then said a rich man, "Speak to us of Giving."
And he answered:
You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?
And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?
And what is fear of need but need itself?
Is not dread of thirst when your well is full, thirst that is unquenchable?
There are those who give little of the much which they have - and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.
And there are those who have little and give it all.
These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.
There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.
And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;
They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.
Though the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth.
It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;
And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving
And is there aught you would withhold?
All you have shall some day be given;
Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors'.
You often say, "I would give, but only to the deserving." The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights is worthy of all else from you.
And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream.
And what desert greater shall there be than that which lies in the courage and the confidence, nay the charity, of receiving?
And who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their pride, that you may see their worth naked and their pride unabashed?
See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.
For in truth it is life that gives unto life - while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.
And you receivers - and you are all receivers - assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.
Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;
For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the free-hearted earth for mother, and God for father.
Khalil Gibran " The Prophet"[/color]

Re: Those Ah So Giving People

PostPosted: Sat Dec 11, 2010 10:26 pm
by dermot
Good title Sabina!

Personally i take a step back or sideways when someone starts proclaiming their positive qualities, seems they want to save you the time in making your own decision, or deny you the opportunity to do so.
Truly giving people would never want to draw attention to something they inherently are anyway. It does not 'cost' them to give and they would do it without recognition being necessary.

Methinks the world needs more of them?


Re: Those Ah So Giving People

PostPosted: Mon Dec 13, 2010 12:37 am
by Sabina
[quote="dermot"]Truly giving people would never want to draw attention to something they inherently are anyway. It does not 'cost' them to give and they would do it without recognition being necessary.

Not so much that they wouldn't want to draw attention to it, but wouldn't think of it at all, I think.

Yes, the world needs more of them. Everyone should be like that.. being "giving" should be as natural and normal as breathing. Breathe in, breathe out, no big deal.