Teaching people a lesson

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Teaching people a lesson

Postby Sabina » Sat May 29, 2010 9:12 pm

We are all teachers and students and that I completely relate to. However, some people have a different idea of what it means to be a teacher, and that is something I have, or used to have a problem with. Specifically, I mean people who purposely teach someone a lesson...
It should be added that I have only observed this in highly intelligent people, so it is definitely not a common trait.

For me, if I wanted to teach someone something I always tried to explain the logics of it in words. If someone explained something to me in words, I could understand it, even if the logic of it was new, and even if I hadn't looked at it that way until then.

If it is true, then it must be logical.
If it is logical, then it can be explained.
If it can be explained, then it must be understood.

That is my credo... and what I have lived by. It made sense to me for me, so I used to think that it just makes sense - period. For everyone.
With time I came to realize that for some people it is impossible to learn anything through words alone. They need the personal experience... or else they won't learn.

I still saw it as arrogance to purposely provide anyone with such an experience. I certainly didn't lack the imagination to come up with a suitable scenario, but I thought it was wrong to consciously assume the role of a teacher.

All I can do is explain, they will either understand or they won't.

What are your thoughts and experiences in this regard?
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Re: Teaching people a lesson

Postby dermot » Sat May 29, 2010 9:47 pm

Do people allow themselves to be taught?
As opposed to the opposite, can you teach anyone a lesson without their willingness to learn.

Its like learning from a book, until its put into practice it often remains an intellectual possibility.
Bringing a lesson to proper consciousness often necessitates the 'use' of that lesson, then it becomes part of the person's experience rather than some vague idea?
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Re: Teaching people a lesson

Postby Sabina » Sat May 29, 2010 10:01 pm

The willingness to learn must absolutely be there, I agree. Ideally, the willingness to learn should be ever-present and not just an occasional exercise.

Dermot wrote:Bringing a lesson to proper consciousness often necessitates the 'use' of that lesson, then it becomes part of the person's experience rather than some vague idea?

Is the bringing a lesson to proper consciousness something anyone can be helped with, or would you say that's more of a "to each its own" kind of thing?

In a way, that is what my question was... because I know some (very few) people who do provide others with such lessons, therefore providing them with the "direct experience" they realize these people need... I am just not sure if that approach can be ok, even if the intentions are nothing but good.
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Re: Teaching people a lesson

Postby dermot » Sat May 29, 2010 10:09 pm

I do think its appropriate to speak out when confronted with an opportunity to help, it might be the only chance for that person to learn that lesson.
After that .........its up to them, hopefully they will listen and learn, or get another opportunity to do so.

There no definite yes/no answer here is there?
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Re: Teaching people a lesson

Postby Ryan » Sat May 29, 2010 10:21 pm

I think that "teaching a person a lesson" should be done as a last resort when talking and explaining things doesn't seem to work. Of course, I don't think this approach is suitable for all people. I would only "teach lessons" to those to which I feel I have an obligation and for which I feel I have a responsibility. Plus I think that creating an instance with which they can experience the affects that I previously tried to explain will have less severe consequences than if I simply just let life provide that experience... After all, I think we can all agree that some tend to only learn from experience and therefore if I can "teach the lesson" by giving the experience then great!
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Re: Teaching people a lesson

Postby mirjana » Sun May 30, 2010 10:27 pm

Sabina wrote:We are all teachers and students and that I completely relate to. However, some people have a different idea of what it means to be a teacher, and that is something I have, or used to have a problem with. Specifically, I mean people who purposely teach someone a lesson...
It should be added that I have only observed this in highly intelligent people, so it is definitely not a common trait.


...


I think that we are the best teachers when we do not teach purposely. Teaching must be inspiring for the student. If it is not, it is not only because of the student. The real teacher, who is convinced to be able to purposely teach someone else, cannot be disappointed if the student gives an impression of rejection. Real teaching is an individual process that is either directed to the student, which means finds the way to reach his understanding, or it is steadiness in the way the teacher IS that will help those around to figure benefits for self from that.
When I think that my knowledge about something could be of help for another, I can only give the best I can my understanding about the subject, I can never give my understanding to another. S/he will have the own understanding, always. Our personal knowledge, understanding, vision, is never the same for another person. Therefore if we are in the role of a teacher we should always know that each one of us is alone in our personal understanding and life experiencing.
Therefore we give of our understanding without a judgment how it will be received.
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Re: Teaching people a lesson

Postby meenam » Thu Jun 17, 2010 4:26 am

In Indian scriptures, four stages are described. They are Saam, Daan, Dand, Bhed. In that order, it means to first explain lovingly, next to forgive, then to punish ( teach a lesson ), and lastly to distance oneself. As and when each be implemented is a personal choice. The last happens when the person is not prepared to change or understand, and is impervious to punishment also.
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Re: Teaching people a lesson

Postby Ryan » Thu Jun 17, 2010 6:15 am

That sounds about right to me Meenam, thank you and welcome to DS.
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Re: Teaching people a lesson

Postby mirjana » Thu Jun 17, 2010 2:49 pm

Meeanam, welcome to DS.
Great first post. Thank you for this explanation. I didn't know that.
Hope to hear more from you.
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Re: Teaching people a lesson

Postby crystaldart » Mon Jun 21, 2010 6:24 pm

I agree with Ryan on "teaching a lesson" more when we have an obligation to do so. Like a teacher to a very young student. What meenam conveyed is a method more suitable to our grown up world.

But among us, teaching should be more of sharing. If we are sure that the other person needs to know for their own good, but for some reason can't see it for themselves, then we should try. With love, with appreciation, respect... or anything that will unlock a door into them. But in the end too much pressure will back fire. Then leave them alone, hope for the best.

If it is true, then it must be logical.
If it is logical, then it can be explained.
If it can be explained, then it must be understood.


here I beg to disagree with sabina . The whole statement may not be perfect equation. Sometimes there could be a mismatch between truth and logic. Logic is a growing collection of wisdom we pick through experience. But then its growing. not complete. Truth is complete.

Thanx for the warm topic
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