Stubborn!

By Agate

Stubborn!

Postby Agate » Fri Jun 25, 2010 3:54 pm

My first yoga class is tonight, and I'm just a tad nervous. Not so much because of the exercise; I know full well how stiff I've gotten and am prepared to cope with and work through that. No, my nerves are from one main issue manifested in two ways: I'm afraid I'll be negatively judged.

I don't know how much I weigh, nor do I want to. Scales are a massive trigger to me, and last time I was confronted with one I didn't eat for the next two days. But I do know what size pants I wear, and they ain't no size 0! So that's a really obvious reason that I frequently wind up being judged. Walking into a place dedicated to exercise in my body ...yeah.

The other thing I feel awkward about is the fact that I'm gonna have to pay $10 of the fee in change. By scrimping and saving I was able to scrape together the full amount I need to pay for my class, but it's kind of awkward to hand over a few bills and a stack of rolled coins.

To cope with the nerves, I just keep asking myself what reactions I want from the studio staff. I figure if I focus on what I want hard enough there's a better chance I'll get it than if I focus on my fears.

So what do I want?

I want Bruce (the main guy) to see beyond my bulk. I want him to see that I am giving this all I've got. This yoga class is not a whim; I've had to think carefully through everything from how to pay the fee to bus routes. I want him to see that I am totally committed to this path, and am willing to sacrifice and work my butt off to achieve my goals.

I am, above all other personality traits, stubborn. And I hope he sees that and is willing to meet me halfway and help me get where I'm going.
Everyone's got a tale to tell,
I know I'm not the first, or last but somewhere in-between;
Not best but not the worst.
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Re: Stubborn!

Postby Ryan » Fri Jun 25, 2010 6:58 pm

I would suggest... to hell with everyone and what they think! You are there for you, no one else need play a part in it at all.

Don't get me wrong... I understand the difficulties in simply (and truly) not noticing people's expressions, glances, etc. I just have a bad opinion of most "training" facilities... that I am not going to get into at the moment...

One thing you might be interested in is purchasing a Wii system. We have one and it is wonderful. You only need the one "game" Wii Fit plus. It has yoga exercises & muscle exercises. It keeps track of calories burned. It is like having your own personal trainer. There are also other exercises for balance, hand/eye coordination, and more. If you stick with it and do the work you definitely see (and feel) the results. There is another game by EA Sports that I like and to me it seems much more intense. In my opinion in ways it is better that Wii Fit and in other ways it is worse. At any rate, it really is nice and in a way better... basically you have the exercises, you get a "score" based upon your execution of the exercises. But no one need know except for you and you push yourself to do better... the in game trainer provides wonderful suggestions and information. It is a wonderful thing, truly. Set aside 30 minutes or an hour per day, get on the Wii and go to it. I can almost guarantee you'll benefit from it and love it. I am not sure if you can rent them from your video store or not... but if you can you might look into doing it and see if it is for you. Compare it to going to the yoga studio and how you feel afterward... If you can rent a Wii or if you just think it might be good, you can probably find second hand Wii's on E-bay, or similar sites, that would be fairly cheap in comparison to the new Wii's... Plus, Sabina said, there is a new Wii system being released soon so that will make the prices of the older models drop even more.

Anyway... I thought I would mention it and wish you luck and give you a vote of confidence that no one else's opinion matters except for your own.
[R] If you don't understand something I said or why I said it... ask me.
If you don't want to understand something I said or why I said it... tell me.
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Re: Stubborn!

Postby Agate » Fri Jun 25, 2010 11:13 pm

Well, it looks like I'll be doing a combination of both what I planned and Ryan suggested. I thought I'd read the prices right...but hadn't figured in tax so I can't afford the yoga class right now. I'm pretty annoyed with myself; I'd got myself all geared up to go, looked one last time at the email confirming the price, and discovered the fee would be nearly $20 more than I have on hand.

On the plus side, another class starts in two months. Now that I know the correct price, I can mindfully save for it. I also will have two months to work on my body and potentially negate some of the body image issues I was fretting about in my earlier post.

I just feel really stupid at the moment =0( =0( =0(
Everyone's got a tale to tell,
I know I'm not the first, or last but somewhere in-between;
Not best but not the worst.
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