Shouting and Anger

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Shouting and Anger

Postby Sabina » Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:42 pm

A Hindu saint who was visiting the river Ganges to take a bath found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. Smiling, he turned to his disciples and asked, 'Why do people in anger shout at each other?'

The disciples thought for a while, and then one of them said,
'Because when we lose our calm, we shout.'

'But, why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner,' asked the saint.

The disciples gave more answers but none satisfied the saint. Finally he explained:

'When two people are angry at each other, the distance between their hearts is larger. To cover that distance they must shout to be able to hear each other. The angrier they are, the stronger they will have to shout to hear each other to cover that great distance.

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'


The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other.'

He looked at his disciples and said,
'So when you argue, do not let your hearts get distant. Do not say words that distance you from each other more, or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not be able to find the path to return.'
"Whether You believe you can, or you can't, you are right."
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Re: Shouting and Anger

Postby Ryan » Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:44 pm

Ooooh...
And why didn't you post this under Paths to Love?
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Re: Shouting and Anger

Postby Sabina » Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:47 pm

Well.. because if it is here, in the Witticism forum, we can always easily find it, should we need it... but you are right, I will add it there as well.

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Re: Shouting and Anger

Postby mirjana » Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:07 pm

Sabina, what is going on with you? <3
You have been posting brilliant food for thoughts. Wow!!!!!
Actually, this is so good for itself that it should have probably stayed like that opened to everybody to be seen without being covered with further associations. So good it is. My words are in that sense not needed. But, as I am, =0/ , and being very much personally touched with the words of the sage, I cannot resist.
I write it in the low voice, almost the whisper ;0) ...
The words of the saint are the profound understanding of our relation to God, or however we would call that something we feel all the time within us and around us. Therefore prayer which is said in heart and mind and not necessarily spoken in words.
"What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly, because their hearts are very close. The distance between them is either nonexistent or very small...'

The saint continued, 'When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper and they get even closer to each other in their love. Finally they even need not whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close two people are when they love each other."

Because we have God within us, in our hearts, there is no distance between us; we do not need anybody to transmit our hearts and our thoughts. It is personal way to express this love and connection. It can be said with silence, with a whisper, poem, song, it can be a moment of awareness, a smile when meeting truth...
Thank you so much for this.
Ryan, I agree with you!

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Re: Shouting and Anger

Postby alija » Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:30 pm

Hi Sabina,
I wanted to do the same, put this text here, but you have been quicker.
=0o <3
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Re: Shouting and Anger

Postby mirjana » Thu Mar 11, 2010 12:46 am

Anger


When you are angry with someone and you throw your anger on him, you are creating a chain reaction. Now he too will be angry. This may continue for lives and you will go on being enemies. How can you end it? There is only one possibility. You can end it only in meditation, nowhere else, because in meditation you are not angry with someone: you are simply angry.

This difference is basic. You are not angry with someone. You are simply angry and the anger is released into the cosmos. You are not hateful towards anyone. If hate comes, you are simply hateful and the hate is thrown out. In meditation, emotions are not addressed. They are unaddressed. They move into the cosmos, and the cosmos purifies everything.

It is just like a dirty river falling into the ocean: the ocean will purify it. Whenever your anger, your hate, your sexuality, moves into the cosmos, into the ocean - it purifies it. If a dirty river falls into another river, then the other river also becomes dirty. When you are angry with someone, you are throwing your dirt at him. Then he will also throw his at you and this will become a mutual dirtying process.

In meditation you are throwing yourself into the cosmos to be purified. All the energy that you throw is purified in the cosmos. The cosmos is so vast and so great an ocean, you cannot make it dirty. In meditation we are not related with persons. In meditation we are related directly to the cosmos.

Osho
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Re: Shouting and Anger

Postby Ryan » Thu Mar 11, 2010 10:27 am

Isn't it more accurate to say that simply having a means with which one may release their anger without harming themselves or others is a healthy way of dealing with anger? Whether it is meditation, dancing, swimming, jogging, beating a pillow, bowling... or whatever...

I am definitely not saying that identifying the source and cause for one's anger is not important, nor am I advocating ignoring the reasons behind it. I am just asking in response to the claim that meditation is the only means with which to end it. That just seems kind of elitist...

I think I am going to follow your cue Mirjana. I realize more and more people admire Deepak Chopra (or Osho) and trust him as a source for spiritual and scientific approaches to life's predicaments and who am I but some clammed up insecure individual that knows very little of anything except from his own limited point of view and experiences. So why should anyone pay heed to anything I have to say unless it just meshes with the beliefs they already have? In which case what does it matter then anyway? So, I am thinking that rather than talking from my own understanding and approach it would probably be better if I just talk using other people's words rather than my own. That way if they want to argue it I can say... "What do I know? Take it up with Deepak, those are his words."

Anyway here are a couple of links as to what Deepak has to say on the subject...

Relief from Anger
Anger Release Process
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Re: Shouting and Anger

Postby Sabina » Thu Mar 11, 2010 1:11 pm

Osho wrote:When you are angry with someone and you throw your anger on him, you are creating a chain reaction. Now he too will be angry. This may continue for lives and you will go on being enemies. How can you end it?


There are various possibilities. Here is one of them: Garbage Truck Rule

As for Osho's text... wow... anyone claiming there is only one possibility to anything and it is the one they know of... again, wow. Everything Osho ever wrote just became meaningless.

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Re: Shouting and Anger

Postby mirjana » Thu Mar 11, 2010 1:54 pm

Ryan, your post has inspired few my thoughts:
I shall always greet good quote as an additional help in any kind of debate about things we have chosen to debate. Choosing quotes is a part of active personal approach to the debate as the choice of the quote or even an authority is always a choice like any other choice of personal action.

When I put Osho's quote about anger (as my first contribution and knowing me so far definitely not the last in the line), I didn't mean that meditation is exclusive way for solving this human problem, or that Osho is the all the best authority for the field. That meditation is one of good releasing possibilities is a confirmed truth and I can only confirm it from my personal experience as well.
Your Chopra's links are good as they give few possibilities. The choice, as in any other case, is a personal thing. By the way in his suggestion, aside meditation which also stays on the first place, there is music/sound healing effects and Yoga, all three that one can practice her/himself without any help. Other two possibilities are those that one can have if paid nicely to people who will then teach or cure the problem. That is how it goes today all around, something for nothing, and something for paying.
What has attracted my attention is your following question:
"So why should anyone pay heed to anything I have to say unless it just meshes with the beliefs they already have? In which case what does it matter then anyway? So, I am thinking that rather than talking from my own understanding and approach it would probably be better if I just talk using other people's words rather than my own. That way if they want to argue it I can say... "What do I know? Take it up with Deepak, those are his words."
Your question with the combination of the conclusion that follows it sounds strange to me =0(
Personally, I have appreciated many personal stories and experiences people have shared here so far and I have also learned from many of them. I have always recognized that with gratitude and acknowledgement and I shall always do that, as I believe in the Law of attraction, which means the more of real gratitude for something I love to have/ get, more of the same (good inputs, advices, thoughts, ideas) I will attract into my life. The fact that I shall not always agree with everything I hear doesn't reduce the positive effects of those things I have accepted/recognized and learned from them. These two go well together.
And if anybody argues my thoughts when I say them (instead to quote somebody else’s), I shall always enjoy it as a personal challenge to check my stand point with openness to change it if it shows as logical. I do not think, in spite of my age and life experience that goes with it, those things I have learned so far or I think I know, belong to the unchangeable facts. Contrary. Otherwise I wouldn’t be a member of such forums which are for exchange and sharing and not for preaching personal statements as something which cannot be put in question.
I do not see the reason not to combine quotes and personal inputs and so far I haven't noticed that anybody here, including myself, only quoted authorities and not telling personal opinion.


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Re: Shouting and Anger

Postby Alvino » Fri Mar 12, 2010 4:56 am

At this moment I believe meditation is working to have a SILENT MIND.

ME thinks = much more profitable response to anger is discussion
to search the different aspects of WHY anger , ...
either with self or the other and
I am certain that the most CURING response is
WHEN you are parting from the anger or from the other person"
JUST SAY = "LET'S HAVE COFFEE IN THE MORNING"

THIS means I have forgotton ALL this anger and I believe you have, also.
it means WE are still friends : LETS MEET FOR COFFEE, soon.

whisper I have said this (let's have coffee, Sabina )to SABINA THREE (3) TIMES already
since I have known her. Yes , I have absolutely no patience in the realm of
Communications/communicating
and I become anger faster then a bullet because of many human actions that I, myself DO or that others do.
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