Selfless Love

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Selfless Love

Postby Sabina » Sat Feb 13, 2010 11:44 pm

We talked about love before, but I would like to address a specific "kind" of love this time and that is selfless love.

Many people say things like "Selfless, or unconditional love..." like the one is a synonym for the other.
I don't believe they are.
Some people say "Selfless love is unconditional". That is just not true.

Unconditional love is love without any conditions.
Selfless love is love without regard for a personal gain, or love without personal gain.
The dictionary definition of "selfless" is: having little or no concern for oneself, esp. with regard to fame, position, money, etc.; unselfish.

I've thought about this and I don't know if selfless love can exist at all. I mean simply by definition, it is not possible. Even if we do something without regard for ourselves, out of pure love, we always gain something in return.
Sometimes we "gain" gratitude, sometimes we gain love, sometimes we gain a smile,... and even if nothing at all comes from the other side, we always at least gain the joy that we did something for someone else.

Sabina
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Re: Selfless Love

Postby Ryan » Sat Feb 13, 2010 11:54 pm

I agree with you... I don't believe there is anything anyone can do without it having something to do with themselves.
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Re: Selfless Love

Postby dermot » Sun Feb 14, 2010 12:01 am

I also agree.
Selfless love sounds like it means there's no self involved? If you dont give self, surely you cant 'give' love?
Unconditional Love.....now there's a topic 80|
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Re: Selfless Love

Postby Tim » Sun Feb 14, 2010 12:34 pm

I guess any debate about words is always a bit tricky. I mean, what kind of words can really capture the essence of love and spirit? Having said that I wonder about love and sense it to be much bigger than the self. I even think that love in it's purest state may be the life force of the universe - all around us, flowing through us, all of the time. Selfless love may not be possible if we think of the self as the source of love, but if the source of the self is love then it may be possible for love to flow freely without the influence of the ego-self. In fact, the surrender to love may be the undoing of the false self, leaving only love... I don't know, food for reflection.
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As you sow, so will you reap

Postby mirjana » Sun Feb 14, 2010 1:41 pm

Sabina wrote:We talked about love before, but I would like to address a specific "kind" of love this time and that is selfless love.

...
I've thought about this and I don't know if selfless love can exist at all. I mean simply by definition, it is not possible.Even if we do something without regard for ourselves, out of pure love, we always gain something in return.
Sometimes we "gain" gratitude, sometimes we gain love, sometimes we gain a smile,... and even if nothing at all comes from the other side, we always at least gain the joy that we did something for someone else.

Sabina


Hi Sabina,
Good topic for reflection...
I think that, just by deffinition, it is possible.
"Even if we do something without regard for ourselves, out of pure love, we always gain something in return."
For me, in this sentence of yours there is a key. Your question was is it possible, not what is the result. So, it is not what the result is if the initial action was started without reflecting about personal gain as a result.
Sometimes it happens that we just take a part in something out of spontaneous reaction of love and care for somebody by giving support, sharing time, energy, thoughts, all aspects of love, without having any back thought about personal gain.
The fact that result of such actions is almost always a personal gain as well is only a confirmation of one of Universal Laws “As you sow, so will you reap".
I do think that there are moments in life when our conditioned mind is blocked by the enthusiasm that comes in harmony with the true nature of the person and that in such moments it is possible to act out of pure joy and optimism in order to contribute to something which in that moments takes a heart, without thinking what will be my personal benefit.

Mirjana
Last edited by mirjana on Sun Feb 14, 2010 1:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Selfless Love

Postby Ryan » Sun Feb 14, 2010 1:42 pm

Sorry Tim, I don't follow... in your described thoughts does love serve a purpose? You said "life force of the universe" but I do not know what that is or if it has purpose... can you help me out with a bit more explanation?
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Re: Still selfless love

Postby Sabina » Sun Feb 14, 2010 2:57 pm

mirjana wrote:...For me, in this sentence of yours there is a key. Your question was is it possible, not what is the result. So, it is not what the result is if the initial action was started without reflecting about personal gain as a result. ...

Mirjana,

That could only be the case the very first time you feel joy because you did something for someone else. After that you know that this joy is part of giving love, so you know what to "expect".

Hence, from that moment on, it could be said that whenever you give love, it is not anymore done for selfless reasons. You could even become addicted to this joy and not be able to get enough!

Sabina
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Re: Selfless Love

Postby mirjana » Sun Feb 14, 2010 3:02 pm

I think that it is a hard assumption which should mean that each our spontaneously good action could become an egoistically formed addiction.



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Re: Selfless Love

Postby dermot » Sun Feb 14, 2010 3:32 pm

Selfless Love.
Just another expression of Love being a fundamental force existing in all beings at base level, sometimes sadly covered up by issues or experiences when growing up etc. Seems to me letting this Love govern our actions is a lifetimes work. So many layers can prevent us from acting with love or even recognising it.
When we do act with love its a good feeling, a right feeling, makes us feel good about ourselves but without being done for that 'high'.
Not sure what that says about selfless love...to me Love must have 'self' as a consequence of 'right action'.....but its none the less for that <3
....the heart only whispers, be still and listen....
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Re: Selfless Love

Postby Sabina » Sun Feb 14, 2010 3:51 pm

dermot wrote:...to me Love must have 'self' as a consequence of 'right action'.....but its none the less for that <3


Dermot,

Exactly that, yes. Love cannot be selfless, but that doesn't make it egoistical nor bad in any sense. If it really is love, then it is love and it is good. The fact that it brings joy is an additional benefit that is meant to be part of it.

Sabina
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