Role-based expectations & role-based behavior

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Role-based expectations & role-based behavior

Postby Sabina » Fri Sep 17, 2010 2:48 pm

One of the things that has been changing very slowly, throughout history, but especially so during the 20th century, are expectations of role-based behavior.
One classic examples are gender roles: man/woman, husband/wife...
How should the perfect husband be and behave, and even more to the point, what makes a perfect wife.
But... that is not all!
In any parent(s)/child(ren ) relationship, there are expectations as well. In some cases the expectations transform and adapt with time and age (children growing up and becoming adults), in other cases they don't change as drastically. The specific differences are largely dependent on the surrounding culture and customs.

As for me, I was raised to be a very good girl, but discussed and argued passionately with my parents. I remember this mainly starting my teens, but I have heard some examples from my parents which point to me always having been that way (is that an English sentence?).
As for my grandparents, it was "respect the elderly", and they were loving creatures, perfectly lovable and easy to respect, easy to be considerate of.

While I had the occasional drastic word exchange with my parents, especially with my father, I was a little surprised to see my daughter, who is almost 17 years old engaged in such a conversation with my father, so her grandfather. The debating and arguing didn't surprise me, if anything, I think it was very cool, and I could only be proud of her. When she used a heavy word (phrase) towards him though, I was surprised. I thought about it and realized that it was only because of my own relationship with my grandfather, and that I never would have said anything like that to him. Then again, my grandfather never said anything to me quite like what her grandfather said to her.... and her response was actually quite adequate.
So, I realized that I am obviously "a victim" of role-based expectations... still!
Even though I thought that I didn't have a shred of that in me, when simply observing a conversation between two other people, both close to me, I did have expectations regarding their behavior, and these expectations were solely based on their roles.
80|

But no more... I hope! There is no need for that really, is there?
Everyone should be treated as they deserve to be treated, based on their particular behavior, and only that.
"Whether You believe you can, or you can't, you are right."
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Re: Role-based expectations & role-based behavior

Postby Ryan » Fri Sep 17, 2010 3:46 pm

I think that a relationship, no matter who it is, should be (and usually is) dictated, created, and maintained by each individual in the relationship... to be exactly that what they think it should be... regardless of popular opinion or otherwise... Does it mean that there aren't any perversions? No... but those perversions are manifested and maintained by both parties... I think so anyway. Even if the relationship is not what we want it to be... in some way we help it be that... either by allowing certain behaviors, or behaving a certain way that is going to provoke a certain reaction from the other...

=0/ ...Maybe?
[R] If you don't understand something I said or why I said it... ask me.
If you don't want to understand something I said or why I said it... tell me.
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