Privacy

By Sabina

Re: Privacy

Postby HGolightly » Wed Apr 07, 2010 4:04 am

Sabina, thank you for all of work you've put into making the changes. It looks really nice!

Holly, as for your concerns about privacy, how could anyone find you here by running a search on Google? By the first name only, or in your case a user-name which is neither your first name nor your last name, how do you think they could find you?


Believe it or not, it is plausible. If a person is on a mission to find someone on a first name basis - it can happen. All it takes is a little exploration (1st name only) and there you have it, a web page linked to a page with an avatar of a person with her mouth open and a big goofy smile ;).

There is always some element of risk of associating oneself with open websites and the like. Though, my user-name suggests otherwise - I have been addressed/closed with my first name. Sure, it's highly unlikely anyone will give a rats hoot about me, but I'm cautious regarding this. My profession as a researcher has been primarily tracking people down - on websites. "Don't worry folks I'm not registered on this site to locate anyone of you"- lols. All joking aside, there are many scenarios that could play out. It's surprising how little effort it requires to find someone.

Anyway, I have read and had many discussions with colleagues at work; along, with friends who work in HR departments at the Corporate Headquarters. It is has now become common knowledge that background checks are no longer isolated to "background.com", etc. Employers are now googling, registering on websites, and performing fairly detailed internet searches to gather anything and everything to make their determination in regards to hiring a person. Sadly, it's fair game out there in the big wide-web where I'm sure discrimination will exist merely on what is found out about a person on the internet. Sure, the type of searches performed depend upon what type of employer and/or job you are applying for, but maybe not - I don't know about all jobs, only the ones I've been researching, and it's likely the same will apply to me when I'm back in the market in a few months or so.

It's just my personal feeling and related experience to maintaining a bit of privacy on the internet.

Good question.
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Re: Privacy

Postby Sabina » Wed Apr 07, 2010 4:38 am

First, thank you for answering honestly. =0) <3

I asked because it just happens that this falls into one of those things I know something about as search engines, search engine results, etc. were a constant ever-present concern of my (previous) line of work. And while finding people who are registered on social networking sites (Facebook, MySpace, and many others) in indeed easy when you know how to do it, when it comes to a forum as this one, it is not that way at all.
And with a first name only... well, I guess if it was an unusually strange and rare first name, then maybe, but with common names, there is not a chance.

I write all this even though I suspect that my words don't matter much ( I don't mean specifically to you Holly, but in general ), because in conclusion, if someone already has a fear or a suspicion, there isn't really much that can be done to make them more comfortable. Or can it?

My hopes are for every Deep Spirit to feel completely comfortable here, but... is that even possible? And then the saying comes to mind..
You can please some of the people all of the time, or all of the people some of the time,
but you can never please all of the people all of the time.

=0/

What are your thoughts? Or, suggestions would be great too.
"Whether You believe you can, or you can't, you are right."
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Re: Privacy

Postby HGolightly » Wed Apr 07, 2010 7:28 pm

Hi Sabina,

I appreciate your insight, as well as to your reassurance that this was not possible within your forum - thank you for the clarification in regards to this.

Upon reading the latter part of your message:

And with a first name only... well, I guess if it was an unusually strange and rare first name, then maybe, but with common names, there is not a chance.write all this even though I suspect that my words don't matter much ( I don't mean specifically to you Holly, but in general ), because in conclusion, if someone already has a fear or a suspicion, there isn't really much that can be done to make them more comfortable. Or can it?

My hopes are for every Deep Spirit to feel completely comfortable here, but... is that even possible? And then the saying comes to mind..You can please some of the people all of the time, or all of the people some of the time, but you can never please all of the people all of the time. =0/What are your thoughts? Or, suggestions would be great too.


Last night, I began to think about what you had expressed within your reply, which I know was not specifically directed to me (I do appreciate your communicating that). I came to realize something about myself when I started thinking about about "fear" and"suspicion" - in attempting to relate it to my personal outlook regarding privacy (in addition, to what I had shared). I began by internally asking myself the following questions: "Does it really matter in the scheme of things?" "Do I have anything to hide?" "Have I always been like this?" "Does being aware of privacy related issues only confirm my fears; therefore, justifying my position to stay hidden?" And, the list goes on, and all of a sudden, I began to feel uncomfortable. It was as if I was preparing to to give a speech to a a crowd of strangers - an exaggerated illustration in an attempt to parallel how I was feeling. Hm-mm ... or, is it?! After all, I'm sharing this with all of you today! How ironic. Lols ...

In an attempt to redirect this energy, I went into cleaning mode, and eventually, stumbled across this sheet of paper containing a sentimental verse that I had saved (years ago) while recovering from an eating disorder. I would like to only a part of this as it is rather lengthy, and too, it became a light of self-discovery in relation to "privacy" and my looking beyond my initial statement, and how this might be a place I just settled because it's comfortable. I don't know really, as my "onion" has many layers ...

__14__
FEELING CONNECTED

A characteristic that I share with many of my friends with eating disorders is alienation. Many of us have led lonely, isolated lives. At the height of my disease I isolated myself, both emotionally and physically, from my friends and family. I turned down invitations to go places and remained distant in relationships. I pulled away from people, and ultimately, from God; I withdrew more and more into my loneliness, I believed that I deserved to be alone because I felt unworthy and unlovable. My feelings of self-hate stemmed from my perfectionism. My failures in life loomed very large; I tallied them up daily. I realized that no one was expecting me to be perfect except myself. Most importantly, God did not expect me to be perfect,; his love for me has never been based on my performance. Now his grace allows me to extend myself to others without being fearful of rejection.

__14__

Anyway, the aforementioned is just an awakening for me - perhaps, I am a little too private for my own good. I wanted to share that I have changed my position in regards to keeping DS under lock down. Perhaps, it was fine the way it was. I'm sorry, but I was wrong. The more I think about it, the more I come to the realization that there might be someone out there that might be touched by an article on a specific topic that could change their life, as a couple of you had shared. So whether the website stays the same, or not ... I just wanted to share my thoughts, as it had been on my mind.

I hope everyone is enjoying their week!

P.S. It is not possible to make everyone happy; however, an effort to sharing ideas/opinions, to understanding different perspectives, and arriving at a general consensus is definitely something that I believe aids in a quasi happy community.

Holly <3
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Re: Privacy

Postby GenerousGeorge » Thu Apr 08, 2010 2:35 pm

Good post!! When we can get outside ourselves and think of others, lots of good things seem to happen. "Progress, not perfection." <3
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