One-liners

[color=#4a2522]Short stories, good jokes,
witty sayings and anecdotes[/color]

One-liners

Postby Sabina » Thu Jan 07, 2010 6:32 pm

I came across these witticisms, some you might have already heard, some may be new to you. Possibly enjoyable either way.

[color=#00529e]All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.[/color]

[color=#456900]I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.[/color]

[color=#7e0000][size=150]Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow![/size][/color]

[color=#6f5600]42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.[/color] [size=85](This one will come in handy.. ha ha!)[/size]
=0/

[color=#00274c]If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.[/color]
[size=85](Most definitely.)[/size]

[color=#993333]It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.[/color]
[size=85](True wisdom in that one.)[/size]

[color=#003366][size=120]Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.[/size][/color]


[color=#3d2f00]If you always tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.[/color]


[color=#ce2b2b]Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.[/color]

[color=#005aaf]If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.[/color]
[color=#5f0000]"Whether You believe you can, or you can't, you are right."[/color]
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Re: One-liners

Postby Ryan » Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:49 pm

=0@ =0o 80S
[cols] [R] | If you don't understand something I said or why I said it... ask me.
If you don't want to understand something I said or why I said it... tell me. [/cols]
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Re: One-liners

Postby Kris » Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:15 am

Made me smile. Very funny. Thanks Sabina.
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Re: One-liners

Postby Sabina » Wed Jan 13, 2010 2:38 am

You're welcome!
Here are a few more.


[color=#00274c]I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.[/color]


[color=#9f1313]The face of a child can say it all....
especially the mouth part of the face. [/color]


[size=120][color=#385500]He who laughs last thinks slowest. [/color][/size]
[color=#5f0000]"Whether You believe you can, or you can't, you are right."[/color]
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Re: One-liners

Postby GenerousGeorge » Sun Jan 31, 2010 4:36 am

"Good luck is when preparation meets opportunity."

"In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is King!"
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Re: One-liners

Postby Sabina » Sun Feb 07, 2010 9:07 pm

[color=#270036]It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. [/color]


[color=#bb9101]Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick. [/color]


[size=150][color=#7e0000]Hermits unite![/color][/size]


[color=#003260]Two wrongs don't make a right. But three lefts do make a right.[/color]


[color=#666666]The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.[/color]


[color=#7e0000]I plead contemporary insanity.[/color]


[color=#385500]Vegetarian: Indian word for "lousy hunter."[/color]


[color=#594500]We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of Smart?[/color]


[size=120][color=#3b0051]Back off! You're standing in my aura.[/color][/size]
[color=#5f0000]"Whether You believe you can, or you can't, you are right."[/color]
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Re: One-liners

Postby GenerousGeorge » Thu Feb 25, 2010 12:48 pm

"Aside from that Mrs Lincoln, how was the play?"
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Re: One-liners

Postby GenerousGeorge » Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:48 am

"We don't have time to hurry!"
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Re: One-liners

Postby Alvino » Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:05 am

The first fly swatter was attached to the North end of a horse
going South. or maybe a dionsaur.
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Re: One-liners

Postby GenerousGeorge » Sun Mar 07, 2010 3:51 pm

"Fake it til you make it."

"This too shall pass."

"Show me a good loser, ill ahow you a loser."
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