One-liners

Short stories, good jokes,
witty sayings and anecdotes

One-liners

Postby Sabina » Thu Jan 07, 2010 6:32 pm

I came across these witticisms, some you might have already heard, some may be new to you. Possibly enjoyable either way.

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow!

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. (This one will come in handy.. ha ha!)
=0/

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
(Most definitely.)

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
(True wisdom in that one.)

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.


If you always tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.


Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
"Whether You believe you can, or you can't, you are right."
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Re: One-liners

Postby Ryan » Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:49 pm

=0@ =0o 80S
[R] If you don't understand something I said or why I said it... ask me.
If you don't want to understand something I said or why I said it... tell me.
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Re: One-liners

Postby Kris » Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:15 am

Made me smile. Very funny. Thanks Sabina.
K
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Re: One-liners

Postby Sabina » Wed Jan 13, 2010 2:38 am

You're welcome!
Here are a few more.


I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.


The face of a child can say it all....
especially the mouth part of the face.


He who laughs last thinks slowest.
"Whether You believe you can, or you can't, you are right."
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Favorite movie: Matrix + Baraka
Things I like: the arts, free thinkers, creativity, passion, intelligence, honesty
State of Mind or Tendency: Artistic
Kudos: 61

Re: One-liners

Postby GenerousGeorge » Sun Jan 31, 2010 4:36 am

"Good luck is when preparation meets opportunity."

"In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is King!"
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Re: One-liners

Postby Sabina » Sun Feb 07, 2010 9:07 pm

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.


Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.


Hermits unite!


Two wrongs don't make a right. But three lefts do make a right.


The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.


I plead contemporary insanity.


Vegetarian: Indian word for "lousy hunter."


We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of Smart?


Back off! You're standing in my aura.
"Whether You believe you can, or you can't, you are right."
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Things I like: the arts, free thinkers, creativity, passion, intelligence, honesty
State of Mind or Tendency: Artistic
Kudos: 61

Re: One-liners

Postby GenerousGeorge » Thu Feb 25, 2010 12:48 pm

"Aside from that Mrs Lincoln, how was the play?"
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Re: One-liners

Postby GenerousGeorge » Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:48 am

"We don't have time to hurry!"
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Re: One-liners

Postby Alvino » Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:05 am

The first fly swatter was attached to the North end of a horse
going South. or maybe a dionsaur.
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Re: One-liners

Postby GenerousGeorge » Sun Mar 07, 2010 3:51 pm

"Fake it til you make it."

"This too shall pass."

"Show me a good loser, ill ahow you a loser."
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