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One-liners

PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 6:32 pm
by Sabina
I came across these witticisms, some you might have already heard, some may be new to you. Possibly enjoyable either way.

All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.

Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow!

42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. (This one will come in handy.. ha ha!)
=0/

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
(Most definitely.)

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
(True wisdom in that one.)

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.


If you always tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.


Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Re: One-liners

PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:49 pm
by Ryan
=0@ =0o 80S

Re: One-liners

PostPosted: Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:15 am
by Kris
Made me smile. Very funny. Thanks Sabina.
K

Re: One-liners

PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 2:38 am
by Sabina
You're welcome!
Here are a few more.


I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.


The face of a child can say it all....
especially the mouth part of the face.


He who laughs last thinks slowest.

Re: One-liners

PostPosted: Sun Jan 31, 2010 4:36 am
by GenerousGeorge
"Good luck is when preparation meets opportunity."

"In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is King!"

Re: One-liners

PostPosted: Sun Feb 07, 2010 9:07 pm
by Sabina
It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.


Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached to the end of a long stick.


Hermits unite!


Two wrongs don't make a right. But three lefts do make a right.


The latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the population.


I plead contemporary insanity.


Vegetarian: Indian word for "lousy hunter."


We have enough youth.
How about a fountain of Smart?


Back off! You're standing in my aura.

Re: One-liners

PostPosted: Thu Feb 25, 2010 12:48 pm
by GenerousGeorge
"Aside from that Mrs Lincoln, how was the play?"

Re: One-liners

PostPosted: Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:48 am
by GenerousGeorge
"We don't have time to hurry!"

Re: One-liners

PostPosted: Fri Mar 05, 2010 4:05 am
by Alvino
The first fly swatter was attached to the North end of a horse
going South. or maybe a dionsaur.

Re: One-liners

PostPosted: Sun Mar 07, 2010 3:51 pm
by GenerousGeorge
"Fake it til you make it."

"This too shall pass."

"Show me a good loser, ill ahow you a loser."