Married Life

What should the ideal community or society be like?
Thoughts and ideas on making the utopian idea reality.

Re: Married Life

Postby GenerousGeorge » Tue Mar 09, 2010 2:08 pm

There is something to be said about the concept of average. When I was a young officer in the Army and was inspecting an Artillery Battery for speed and accuracy, I told the General that....."I did not understand why most of the Battery's could not shoot as fast as mine. =0/

He replied because you had one of the very fastest, you cannot expect all to be like yours. It is a bell shaped curve and the majority are average. That is just the way it is. They can all strive for the best, but that is not how it is in reality. =0o

The analogy is that while the average marriage is not perfect, the key to a decent marriage is "progress, not perfection".

Another factor is that all humour makes light of things 80S ...... no exceptions; if it is funny it is at someones expense. =0o To err is human, to be able to laugh at yourself is good. To be able to laugh with someone else seeing your own human foibles together is also good. I suspect there were some couples in the audience laughing together <3 seeing how foolish they acted sometimes, but being able to see the humour in it.

My marriage certainly falls in that category, we have plenty of differences. Christian vs Agnostic for one, how to raise the kids, toilet seat up or down etc. etc. etc. Of course communication is the key.......and willingness.....and then you can realize together what you were really "arguing" about, it's often silly and funny. 80S

Bottom line ....... no marriages are perfect or constantly happy or even mostly happy. Those that come closest to that are a result of willingess, communication and working at it. 80|

For those whom it comes naturally and who posess few if any of the character defects comedians make fun of in their marriages, they are fortunate and maybe even blessed. <3

It sounds to me that most of you are more blessed than me in the area of marriage. =0@
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Re: Married Life

Postby Leahann » Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:28 pm

George,

Sounds to me like your talking the same language only in a different way!! =0D Just my opinion though!!
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Re: Married Life

Postby Sabina » Tue Mar 09, 2010 3:42 pm

=0@
Leahann, I agree. :)

George,
Take any two people on this planet, there will always be plenty of differences, even if it seems like the two were meant to be together... that doesn't mean they don't have differences - in character, in opinion, in habits,... a whole rainbow of differences! Recognizing yourself in the other, in some instances, helps. Understanding the other, even when they don't behave like you think they should, or how you would behave in the same situation, is the key. At least striving to understand, look at it from a different perspective, etc.

And... all married couple argue eventually. I don't think there is any close relationship, marriage or otherwise, where people don't occasionally have a disagreement, or a misunderstanding. It's just that these things are not what defines the relationship, or at least they shouldn't.

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Re: Married Life

Postby alija » Wed Mar 10, 2010 1:26 am

Sabina and her romantic expectations of marriage have challenged me to write about another my heretic view of life with the emphases on the period of life when two people believe to have fallen in Love. So, here is my point of view about marriage.

Marriage is beautiful thing and would be much more successful if one didn’t have wrong expectations of it. Why to start such a beautiful project with wrong and very difficult achievable goals?

Marriage serves first of all for the propagation, for the extension of species, for programmed improvement of the species through the rearrangements of two carefully selected genes sorts, for development of man’s intellect through the magical combinations of genes who attracted each other via all kind of our senses.

And, in the second instance, when all these biological combinations have been performed, then we can expect some super-structures in the form of Love. Naturally, both these processes develop parallel but if we put at the very beginning wrong expectations, expectations of Love without knowing what the Love is, partners are in trouble.

Why people like to build foundations so high in the air. It doesn’t work. You cannot put in the beginning of marriage so many duties like solving all kind of existential problems, adjusting partner characters to each other, adjusting to the surrounding and expect to create in the same time something so elevated, so sublime like the Love.

Love is the highest energy in each marriage and you expect to have it as granted immediately in the beginning just because you need it, and you need id because you have wrong expectations, and you have wrong expectations because somebody lied to you, somebody cheated you, or maybe your cells had communication with wrong, weak morfic field of what you call Love.

To have Love in marriage, we must work on it, we must show tolerance, patience, compassion, non-resistance, responsibility, we have to surrender to our partners and then it happens. Love is journey, slow pace journey on which not necessarily both partners will follow each other as expected because we have different pace and all other attributes and our forms of Love expressing are very much different.

In a marriage we measure our Love by how much we are able to give not by how much we are receiving, but again our standards are different, so do not judge too harsh. Idealistic approaches to Love are not welcomed in the marriage, not at all. Entering marriage forget all Love poetry, Love fairy tales and similar false stuff if you want to experience what the Love really IS.

Again, just one opinion which is not, as many others of mine, subject to possible corrections, I am pretty sure.
=0X
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