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Lies as Protection

PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 3:16 pm
by Sabina
What is the point of lies?
Protection, I've been told.
People lie to others, lie to themselves, in order to protect themselves.
Protect themselves from what?
From getting ahead in life and growing...
It is like saying "I do want to run in circles! Please won't you let me run in circles?"
I have a problem with lies... I care for people, incl. myself, so lies upset me extremely.
Sometimes I can deal with it, sometimes I get fed up. Too many lies at once.

Do you lie to yourself?
Do you lie to others?
Why the hell does anyone lie?
Can it be beaten out of people?
Those are the questions currently on my mind, and some others...

Sincerely Yours

Re: Lies as Protection

PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2010 8:15 pm
by dermot
Hmmmm......beating it out of people probably wont get you widespread approval, not that thats what you are looking for methinks!

Lies are lazy, used to get people out of situations in the short term, but in reality they always come back with more energy added on...and more difficult to deal with.
Sometimes people lie knowing that you know they are not telling the truth, and you become an accomplice in the lie...unless you call it for what it is.

What a waste of time, so pointless.
Trouble is, lies cause real problems that can become huge problems just because someone thinks they are clever.
Its not clever to deceive, to cause hurt, to marginalise.

Life is difficult enough.
d.

Re: Lies as Protection

PostPosted: Fri May 14, 2010 9:31 pm
by Ryan
I think the biggest problem is not when people lie in a moment to get out of a short term problematic situation... but more when they not only lie to others but also to themselves to make the conviction that they are the way they are, or do the things they do, for reasons other than the actual reasons.

I think people, for the most part, are very confused about things... they have their complete surroundings telling them again and again what it means to be be successful... and how to achieve true happiness... and it never truly feels right... but in order to "fit in" they start lying to others and themselves to be accepted and not to be condemned by their surroundings as being... irresponsible... lazy... childish... a dreamer... an idealist... naive... or whatever... and this starts at such an early age that most start believing the lies... they find support from others in their surroundings that are lying to themselves and that provide confirmation that their lies are words of wisdom and to be commended... but after a while... that path back to the truth is so twisted and scary that it is almost impossible for them to get back on the right track even when they own up to the fact that they are unhappy and know things should be different... So, even if they want to change things they will still present the lies that they have been presenting and believing for so long and be very confused if you don't accept them as truth.

Maybe...?

Re: Lies as Protection

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 12:49 am
by mirjana
Sabina wrote:Do you lie to yourself?

I can imagine that it will by lie if I would say that I don´t. I think that I am able to convince myself in certain things that I want to believe they are like I want them to be...until the certain point.
Sabina wrote:Do you lie to others?

Last night I saw the movie New Moon, the second part of Twilight. Edward lied to Bella that he didn´t need her as he thought that it would protect her. In that sense I did it and I think that with the same motivation I shall probably do it again.
Sabina wrote:Why the hell does anyone lie?

I explained my reasons. I do believe that similar reasons could be by some other people too. What I do not like are lies that are planned in order to harm other people.
Sabina wrote:Can it be beaten out of people?

I don´t believe that it is possible. It is one of protective tools people have to protect those they love, for noble reasons, or themselves when they are weak or miserable.

Re: Lies as Protection

PostPosted: Sun May 16, 2010 12:28 pm
by Sabina
Ryan wrote:...but more when they not only lie to others but also to themselves to make the conviction that they are the way they are, or do the things they do, for reasons other than the actual reasons.

Ryan, yes.. that makes sense and unfortunately lying because of fear is quite common.

I also like Dermot's reply very much...
Dermot wrote:Lies are lazy, used to get people out of situations in the short term, but in reality they always come back with more energy added on...and more difficult to deal with.

Lies based on fear, lies based on laziness.... Lying is a disease more widespread than any virus ever was.

This topic has basically inspired me to start a new one: Fear or Laziness
Both are common, both are detrimental to personal development, both are excused over and over....

Re: Lies as Protection

PostPosted: Sun Oct 03, 2010 9:29 pm
by mirjana
I think that this video is also interesting as a contribution to this topic:


Re: Lies as Protection

PostPosted: Tue Oct 05, 2010 11:22 pm
by Jade
Mirjana, this seems pretty self-evident, at least to me.
However, why is she holding her chin?
Is she in pain?
Judging by her expression, I'd say not.
Does her holding the chin have something to do with lies as protection?
Hm. =0/

Re: Lies as Protection

PostPosted: Wed Oct 06, 2010 3:54 pm
by mirjana
Jade, interesting question. I do not know. Do you have an idea? =0/
But, what here matters are his words, and they seem quite true to me. =0)

Re: Lies as Protection

PostPosted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 12:58 pm
by ThePermster
I personally don't see lying as wrong for as long as it remains necessary.
The thing that I do wonder about is whether or not it is indeed necessary, I'm interested in other's opinions; do the folks here believe it's possible to go through adult life without lying in our current world?

Re: Lies as Protection

PostPosted: Thu Oct 07, 2010 1:20 pm
by Sabina
I do!
I believe that we never ever have to lie, and I live my life by that. I also expect those who are closest to me to be the same way.

I don't think that lying is ever necessary, in fact I believe it to be harmful, even in those instances when it is deemed as necessary by "the lying party".

As I explained in The Golden Rule topic...
"Being honest is a part of being kind. Honesty is an essential element of kindness.
Without honesty, a kindness isn't really a kindness, because it's not real. So it's a fake pleasantry at best. Nothing kind about that."