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Is being gay a psychological disease?

PostPosted: Thu Jul 28, 2011 7:54 am
by johren118
My name is Josh, 20 years old, residing in Philippines and I'm a bisexual.
Accepting the reality of my gender was probably the hardest situation I've been through..
But even thou that I'm already through with it, I'm still questioning if my Gender is just a disorder all this time..
I just want to make it clear that I have already accepted myself for what am I really.. I just some ideas from the people of this site..

and anyway, I am new to this community, so this would be a fresh start for me to interact with you guys..

Love lots,


Re: Is being gay a psychological disease?

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 7:04 pm
by Sabina
Hello Josh,

I am not sure I understand, perhaps you can help me. Since you are bisexual (and not merely homosexual), then how could your gender be a disorder?
I can imagine someone who feels that the gender they were assigned at birth is completely wrong to feel that their gender is a disorder, but if I understood you correctly, you feel attracted to both genders, which to me would imply that either (or neither) gender is right for you personally.

Your main question was "Is being gay a psychological disease?"
It is certainly not a disease, but I do believe it has a psychological background, at least in most cases.
Homosexuality can be a consequence of a sequence of circumstances....
A natural result of a number of experiences....

I do believe that sometimes, rarely, homosexuality is something one is born with. Such homosexuals are mostly even physically very different from what is seen as the gender norm.

I think there is a difference between many homosexuals today and in the past. The role and meaning of sexuality are quite distorted, and this has especially increased in the last few decades, for two reasons:
- Generations raised by one parent due to high divorce rates, and
- Twisted purpose and importance of sexuality in the media (such as pornography, etc.)

In my experience a vast number of teenagers today are completely lost when it comes to sexuality and have a very incomplete understanding of it.

I hope this helps....

Re: Is being gay a psychological disease?

PostPosted: Fri Jul 29, 2011 9:14 pm
by mirjana
Greetings Josh and welcome to DS.
I am so happy that Sabina answered your question as the first as after that I do not have anything more to add except to greet your coming to DS.
I gave her Kudos for this answer.
I do hope that you will have some other questions as in the meantime DS members have built a beautiful community of open minded and wise people who have enlightened my path quite a few times and I am nicely older than you. =0/ So, I do believe that your curiosity could meet interesting answers in many other topics too.

Re: Is being gay a psychological disease?

PostPosted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 11:17 pm
by Metatron
Hey there :)

Sabina, I think by gender he may have meant sexuality... Because that's the only way it makes sense to me, but johren, correct me if I'm wrong :)

The question you have asked is a tough one and ironically, I think the people who have the hardest time answering it are those who are homosexual or bisexual, as yourself... and me.

Problem is, there are only so many words one can use to describe a condition and words, I think, are an important factor maybe even in conditioning one's sexuality. After all, we use words to help us with our thought process - otherwise chaotic threads of thought can be tied into knots which are easier to store, easier to carry around. My opinion is that language itself is not fully enough to grasp the real world, especially in the mind of a young teenager who is starting to come to terms with his sexuality. It is hard to name feelings as complex as those and what we do is we take labels, meanings, interpretations from others and try to use those as guidance.

I like to compare the human mind to a small, dense ball of energy, and the human personality to different blocks around this ball. When I think, this ball shoots sparks and these sparks sometimes collide with the blocks, only some of them actually making it to the surface. The blocks are created by experiences.

Maybe this is somewhat simplistic and I don't know if you get what I mean (not trying to say you're dumb, just that maybe I should've tried to do a better job at expressing myself :P ). I think these mental blocks are what govern most of our daily lives. I have come to believe that we have the ability to change, it's all just a question of rearranging or destroying those mental blocks (problem is that sometimes we can't identify those blocks). Now, how much is sexuality hardwired into that ball of energy is another question...

Considering that sexuality mainly has to do with physical attraction and sexual intercourse(I don't believe there's really a difference between men and women; I do believe though that many stereotypes have been created for both genders), and sexual intercourse is fundamentally about preserving humanity, the question of the nature of sexuality is definitely an important one.

We are faced with it at a very early age and there's no wonder it brings along a lot of confusion. I wouldn't have said the following a few years ago, but I believe there are people who unknowingly condition themselves to homosexuality or bisexuality (although the latter tends to cause a lot less problems). I don't know if I am one of those people and well... that's my answer to you. I don't know. And no one does.

Just be happy with who you are. There will be people who will try to give you an absolute answer so it is important to know that there isn't one. You have or you will have friends who accept you for who you are, all the haters can go "beep" themselves :P

Re: Is being gay a psychological disease?

PostPosted: Thu Aug 04, 2011 8:01 am
by johren118
Thank you guys for your rich and illuminating responses to my query. I am delighted to see that all of you took this matter in a rather positive and constructive way by delivering your perceptions with such brilliancy.

Upon traversing through all your replies, I took a good minute to ponder both your thoughts and mine. It's like getting out of my own shoe and pulling into yours to see what my shoe looks like.
It is indeed true that I have some experiences that I can count as factor of my gender. So many circumstances where I noticed my peculiar stimuli towards life. The way others perceived my existence and my very nature affects me so deeply that I've tried
changing myself where I vanquished in the end.. The picture of me lying in the bed with arms bleeding haunted my very being whenever I question myself "Have I really violated the very law of nature?"

My gender is more than that of physical attraction, it embodies my whole life like a gift or worse a curse.. It's a natural thing for me to have my own preference, whether on favorite color, food, body accesories and stuff.. which obviously would be perceived as weird and rare by many..

Anyway highway.. Questioning my being is the most stressing thought for me.. It makes me vulnerable and weak.. So it might be best to leave it all behind unanswered.. So what?.. Some questions are better left unsaid..
I'll just enjoy this rarity and who knows, someday I'll seek the ultimate answer naturally without sweating any effort..

I chose to be happy and make others happy as well :)

Thank you :)