Giving and receiving

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Giving and receiving

Postby mirjana » Mon Apr 26, 2010 10:54 am

Film adaptation of the beloved Shel SIlverstein children's book."The Giving Tree"




This is beautiful story of Giving and Receiving.
This story is more about the giving tree and taking boy.
Giving and receiving, when balanced belong to those polarities that bring lot of bliss.

1. When are you more happy, when giving or when receiving?
2. Are you able to receive with the same joy as you experience it when giving?
3. What is your experience that could be done in order to keep giving and receiving in harmony?


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Re: Giving and receiving

Postby HGolightly » Tue Apr 27, 2010 9:15 am

Mirjana, great posting! I've read this children's book many times. In fact, not long ago, I passed it along to a much younger spirit ;). I loved the concept of the story; however, I always felt a little disturbed by the taker. Though, I see your perspective of the giving and receiving; even still, at the end of the story, I was always partial to the giving tree, and not so much of the taking boy and who continued to do so well into his elder years.

In answer to your following questions:

1. When are you more happy, when giving or when receiving?
I am most happy when giving.

2. Are you able to receive with the same joy as you experience it when giving?
Joy in receiving (for me) is not experienced in the same light of the joy I experience when giving. Although, it depends on what it is that I am receiving. If it's materialistic things, then that would be a definite "no" to joy. If it is a person reaching out for quality time to extend an invitation for me to join them for a picnic, or a walk, as a means for quality time, then those two examples (of many) would bring me happiness (to receive) in correlation to the experience when giving.


3. What is your experience that could be done in order to keep giving and receiving in harmony?
If I'm understanding this question correctly. I feel it would have to be along the same lines that I mentioned within question two. In a nutshell, I generally enjoy giving and receiving based upon having a real life connection with others.
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Re: Giving and receiving

Postby mirjana » Tue Apr 27, 2010 9:47 am

I have also been disturbed with only taking boy. =0(
The question is though, if we respect the choice of the tree(giver), why should we be disturb with a boy?
Somehow I think that answering this question reveals nice aspects of personality.
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Re: Giving and receiving

Postby HGolightly » Tue Apr 27, 2010 8:57 pm

mirjana wrote:I have also been disturbed with only taking boy. =0(
The question is though, if we respect the choice of the tree(giver), why should we be disturb with a boy?


Mirjana, Good question. I'm not exactly sure on why we should be disturbed with that of the taking boy. Initially, the boy represents a degree of innocence; yet, not so much as he crosses the threshold into adulthood,and beyond. I don't know really, as I view the symbolic nature of the tree, as being one that never moves (firmly rooted), is sincere, and represents a constant force within a changing world.

From one of my favorite books, the sentence begins with, "Love is like the Polar Star". When I think of the boy, it (for some odd reason) stirs a feeling of sadness within me. In that, his love or appreciation for the tree appears to be from a different perspective; alternatively, to that of the giving of the tree. My interpretation of course.

In digging deeper ... though the boy who takes, might be (in his own way) giving too. By the mere fact that he continues to return for more. Even when the apples are no longer in abundance, and to the eventual stump the tree ultimately becomes - the boy's loyalty of taking (or, visiting)from the tree never waivers. So, what is perceived as taking, could be viewed as a friendship that developed out of the initial taking. In away, taker offers the very same as that of what the tree symbolizes (sincerity even perceived as taking, a constant force that keeps returning (loyalty) - in a changing world, equating to friendship). Thus, each force representing a symbiotic relationship.

In light of your question, perhaps, it's all a matter of the language of love exuded by givers and takers. Some who like to give (like the tree) display their love more by acts of selflessness with a sense of openness to forgiveness and mercy. Whereby, a takers love language, perceived as selfish, might just be simply just superficial in nature. Meaning, that he/she lacks depth and insight or introspection to their reasoning and motives for expressing love by taking. This very act, in part, could be that persons expression of love. The boy may very well love the tree in that he too, exhibits consistency, loyalty, and the like, that only a giver might be able to perceive within the taker (who doesn't observe it within himself). Illustrated by that of the giving tree.

Aha moment! "Love is like the Polar Star" ... it doesn't matter the intention, as that of the outcome, as the meaning of giving and receiving are interchangeable in what it represents within the individual(s), and not so much to what it represents or how it is perceived by others The virtue and constant force of love has an impact on changing lives, as well as our own to everyone we come in contact with.

Hope I answered your question, as I got off track in thought. No proofing, off for a little "Mambo" ... lols.

<3
Last edited by HGolightly on Tue Apr 27, 2010 9:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Giving and receiving

Postby mirjana » Tue Apr 27, 2010 9:45 pm

Holly, thank you for so many great answers.
Without the boy, even being only a taker, there wouldn't be a giver and awareness of the giver's role. They are interdependent.
I love the following explanation of the great poet.
On Giving
Kahlil Gibran

You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
For what are your possessions but things you keep and guard for fear you may need them tomorrow?
And tomorrow, what shall tomorrow bring to the overprudent dog burying bones in the trackless sand as he follows the pilgrims to the holy city?
And what is fear of need but need itself?
Is not dread of thirst when your well is full, the thirst that is unquenchable?

There are those who give little of the much which they have--and they give it for recognition and their hidden desire makes their gifts unwholesome.
And there are those who have little and give it all.
These are the believers in life and the bounty of life, and their coffer is never empty.
There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward.
And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism.
And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue;
They give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space.
Through the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes He smiles upon the earth.

It is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding;
And to the open-handed the search for one who shall receive is joy greater than giving.
And is there aught you would withhold?
All you have shall some day be given;
Therefore give now, that the season of giving may be yours and not your inheritors'.

You often say, "I would give, but only to the deserving."
The trees in your orchard say not so, nor the flocks in your pasture.
They give that they may live, for to withhold is to perish.
Surely he who is worthy to receive his days and his nights, is worthy of all else from you.
And he who has deserved to drink from the ocean of life deserves to fill his cup from your little stream.
And what desert greater shall there be, than that which lies in the courage and the confidence, nay the charity, of receiving?
And who are you that men should rend their bosom and unveil their pride, that you may see their worth naked and their pride unabashed?
See first that you yourself deserve to be a giver, and an instrument of giving.
For in truth it is life that gives unto life while you, who deem yourself a giver, are but a witness.

And you receivers... and you are all receivers... assume no weight of gratitude, lest you lay a yoke upon yourself and upon him who gives.
Rather rise together with the giver on his gifts as on wings;
For to be overmindful of your debt, is to doubt his generosity who has the freehearted earth for mother, and God for father.


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Re: Giving and receiving

Postby Sabina » Wed Apr 28, 2010 7:57 pm

HGolightly wrote:I loved the concept of the story; however, I always felt a little disturbed by the taker.
mirjana wrote:I have also been disturbed with only taking boy. =0(
The question is though, if we respect the choice of the tree(giver), why should we be disturb with a boy?
Somehow I think that answering this question reveals nice aspects of personality.

I know that story from before and have read it to my son. The first time I read it to him, I had tears in my eyes towards the end of the story. But, that is because I am human and therefore I can be touched, by various things. The fact that something touches us doesn't necessarily point to a problem that needs to be fixed, though it can mean that, of course.
We hear the story and those of us who are upset by the boy's taking feel that way because they identify with one aspect of the tree - The giving aspect.

But it's not that simple.
That tree gives, is happy to give, doesn't ask for anything in return, and simply enjoys the presence of that boy.
You, who are bothered by the boy and identify with the tree, are however not like the tree, because you crave a balance, and feel that overall, it is not there. That could be the case in a specific relationship in your life, or in relationships in general.
The tree doesn't crave a balance, it simply enjoys the giving.

The boy visiting the tree is not a symbol of balance... the tree gives only because it enjoys giving, and for no other reason. It can give, so it gives.
In analyzing the story you are again trying to create a balance, by explaining the boy's repeated visitations as a symbol of giving. The tree doesn't need the balance, only you do. And - don't deny that you need it... that wouldn't be healthy. Accept that you need a feeling of balance. The tree doesn't think of it, you obviously do. So, make sure you have this balance in your life. If you feel like you are only giving and not receiving and that bothers you, then change your situation.
Just some additional thoughts...
Love to both of you! <3
Sabina
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Re: Giving and receiving

Postby mirjana » Wed Apr 28, 2010 8:08 pm

Sabina wrote:
The boy visiting the tree is not a symbol of balance... the tree gives only because it enjoys giving, and for no other reason. It can give, so it gives.
In analyzing the story you are again trying to create a balance, by explaining the boy's repeated visitations as a symbol of giving. The tree doesn't need the balance, only you do. And - don't deny that you need it... that wouldn't be healthy. Accept that you need a feeling of balance. The tree doesn't think of it, you obviously do. So, make sure you have this balance in your life. If you feel like you are only giving and not receiving and that bothers you, then change your situation.
Just some additional thoughts...
Love to both of you! <3
Sabina


It is interesting approach and psychological session for free. =0)
I do not think if the problem is or not my personal estimation of balance. Maybe my estimation, whatever it is, is wrong and subjective .
Do you think that it would be possible that in the case when we consider ourselves as only giver, that could be a wrong estimation? Maybe those who consider themselves as a giver, including myself, are not enough aware of giving of others, or have different evaluation of things than others whom they/we/me judge as only takers. =0o
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Re: Giving and receiving

Postby Sabina » Wed Apr 28, 2010 8:16 pm

Well... of course there is always that possibility.. and without knowing the story from the other side it is not possible to have a complete picture.
If you (or anyone) want to fool yourself, then no advice can help you... and all of this is no more than pretty black marks on a light beige background.

But... we are Deep Spirits after all... B0)
There is no point in fooling yourself nor anyone else. It eventually all comes out, so better to simply be honest, always...
In that sense, my recommendation still stands.
Sabina wrote:If you feel like you are only giving and not receiving and that bothers you, then change your situation.

Changing the situation could be as little as having a conversation with the other person, the one you perceive as the "ruthless taker". If conversation turns out not to be a fertile option, then there are always other measures. :)
"Whether You believe you can, or you can't, you are right."
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Re: Giving and receiving

Postby mirjana » Wed Apr 28, 2010 8:34 pm

Thank you for the answer. =0)
Being Deep Spirits for me means most of all working of self. Those who I would judge as only takers would or should help me to figure the following things out:
1. Giving the role of giver exclusively to myself would point a certain "victim role" which is not good;
2. Noticing only self as a giver points only the same behaviour that I criticize by another, which is seeing only self as a giver, not being aware of giving of another(let's say in this case me);
3. Knowing that I am not a tree, opens nicely the possibility that everything I observe is my opinion about things, or my truth, but not necessary the truth. Otherwise it wouldn't happen that two people who have problems in relationship and coming to the mediator to find the solution, would be surprise about that things are not like each of them, convinced to know the truth, has seen, but somehow are always somewhere in between;
Sabina wrote:...
Changing the situation could be as little as having a conversation with the other person, the one you perceive as the "ruthless taker". If conversation turns out not to be a fertile option, then there are always other measures. :)


You are right. And there is always a way for everything, the way in and the way out. ;0)
Actually, searching for the way (path) turns things from the passivity of observer to the activity of a doer. Then things inevitably change and the person moves forward.
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Re: Giving and receiving

Postby Sabina » Wed Apr 28, 2010 9:10 pm

Mirjana, yes that is correct. If you are a healthy individual and the other person is as well, then your first and second points are correct.

I have two questions for you...
1. Is it ever possible for one person to only be the giver and the other only the taker?
2. Is it ever possible for one person to give/take but give much more than they take, while actually craving a more balanced relationship? Or is the person who thinks they are giving more than they are receiving always delusional?
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