Page 1 of 1

Expectations

PostPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2010 3:55 pm
by Sabina
If you don't expect anything from anyone, then nobody can ever disappoint you.

If you don't expect anything from anyone, then nobody can ever disappoint you.

If you don't expect anything from anyone, then nobody can ever disappoint you.

If you don't expect anything from anyone, then nobody can ever disappoint you.

If you don't expect anything from anyone, then nobody can ever disappoint you.

If you don't expect anything from anyone, then nobody can ever disappoint you.

If you don't expect anything from anyone, then nobody can ever disappoint you.

7 is a magical number.

Re: Expectations

PostPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2010 4:44 pm
by Daywhite
I agree, in principle. But, I think to care for someone is to expect certain things. You care for someone, friend, or whatever, you feel you know them, feel a connection, but then they may do something completely unexpected by you, something you find disappointing. Depending on what they may have done, it could have meant nothing to them, something they gave little thought to. But, for you, and your expectations of them, it has a very negative affect on how you see them.

Yes, you can avoid anyone disappointing you, but you give up so much in the process, the chance to truly connect with someone on a deep level. And, often times, it is through our disappointments that we grow. We have a certain set of expectations developed through our personal history. If we are to add any depth to ourselves, to grow in any positive way, we have to risk what we know. It often seems it is the ones we expect things from and who disappoint us with which we grow the most. Not through the disappointment, but simply, we expect things from people because we assume they are exactly like us, shared experiences, etc. But, to meet someone new, someone we feel a connection with, however unexplained, but who has a far different history than we may have, these are the people we can learn from, not only about them, but about ourselves. They take us out of our comfort zone just enough that we are able to experience something new, to see something from a different angle.

This is not to say their view is wrong, at all, just because it is new to us. We know we feel close to them; we know there is much we share. But to really accept them, not as what we want or what we've come to expect of others before them, but as simply who they are, someone we share a connection with yet who is also new to us, we can't bind them with expectations built from our own personal history. If we are to grow at all, to see things in any new light, we must take chances. And, though people are perhaps most likely to disappoint us, they are also the ones most likely to thrill us, to take us to heights and show us things never before imagined.

Re: Expectations

PostPosted: Sat Apr 24, 2010 7:07 pm
by Sabina
Yes, I know and thank you for the uplifting reply.
I basically needed to vent. This was simply the most elegant thing I came up with on short notice.

Daywhite wrote:And, though people are perhaps most likely to disappoint us, they are also the ones most likely to thrill us, to take us to heights and show us things never before imagined.

Reading the above part in particular was strange, as I basically said (to someone in a non-virtual conversation) the same thing prior to reading your reply. :)

Re: Expectations

PostPosted: Sat May 01, 2010 9:30 pm
by dermot
I have heard a lot of people use this line about expectations, and i have always felt uncomfortable hearing it and accepting it. Maybe because its all encompassing it seems like a warning not to have hope......hope is something i need to feel.

If we were to reject the idea that tomorrow could be a better day, that the sun might shine where previoulsy only shadow had played, that a smile could challenge a stare, then it truly would be a bleak place to walk......knowing and accepting ultimate failure.

People will disappoint, but not always and who knows maybe not overall either.

Im sure this idea of not having expectations is based on not having unrealistic expectations, and thats not a bad thing. There is nothing to be gained from setting oneself up for disappointment.
d.