Deep Sh*t...

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Deep Sh*t...

Postby Ryan » Fri Feb 12, 2010 11:10 am


__6__
.:| Deep Sh*t |:.
__9__


A sparrow got a late start on its annual journey to more southern regions for the winter and began to freeze. As the ice began forming on its wings it fell to the ground.

While it was lying there, slowly freezing to death, a cow walked by and took a dump which happened to land directly on top of the little sparrow.

The bird began to thaw out as a result of the warm dung bath and regardless of the smell the little sparrow was so happy it began to sing praises to the cow and for the pile of poop caked upon it.

The sparrow's singing soon attracted the farm's mouse-catching cat who was having difficulty finding mice during the cold weather. The cat soon discovered the little sparrows haven and without haste dug him out and ate him.

What we can learn from this story is that not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy and not everyone that helps you out of sh*t is your friend and when ever you are in deep sh*t, it is always better to keep your mouth shut.
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Re: Deep Sh*t...

Postby mirjana » Fri Feb 12, 2010 1:50 pm

Ryan wrote:...
What we can learn from this story is that not everyone who sh*ts on you is your enemy and not everyone that helps you out of sh*t is your friend and when ever you are in deep sh*t, it is always better to keep your mouth shut.

=0@ =0@ =0@
Great Advice. Thank you!

Alternative thought:
When you sh*t on yourself, at least you have a chance to learn from mistakes, and when it happens then keep your mouth shut.

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Re: Deep Sh*t...

Postby Sabina » Fri Feb 12, 2010 3:43 pm

mirjana wrote:...and when it happens then keep your mouth shut.


Actually, I strongly disagree with that.

When we make a mistake, and nobody notices, we can fix it or not, but we shouldn't keep our mouth shut either way.

In fact I believe it it very important to share these moments... for several reasons:
1) By talking about our mistakes, we are reminded of our perfect imperfection, hence reminded to remain humble,
2) By talking about our mistakes we show others that we are open, hence inspiring them to be open,
3) By talking about our mistakes we can help others see their failures in a different light.

These are just a few reasons to never hide our failures. Being open about "the good stuff" is easy. It is the other things and how willing and able we are to talk about those that show how open we really are.

Sabina

PS: Good story Ryan, though a bit too bitter for my taste...
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Re: Deep Sh*t...

Postby Heidi » Sat Feb 13, 2010 12:40 am

I agree with you Sabina!

Recognizing and accepting our mistakes is especially useful not only for ourselves but for others too, especially for children.

Sometimes I make intentional mistakes during a class with children, and when they find out, I just say "Sorry" and explain to them that nobody's infallible or perfect, and that we all make mistakes. Then I usually write down my "mistake" 2-3 times, to show them that copying the corrected word or grammar form a few times, is not a form of punishment, but a simple way not to make the same mistake again.

It works fine. When they make mistakes, I don't have to ask them to write down the corrected form. They do it on their own.
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Re: Deep Sh*t...

Postby HGolightly » Mon Feb 15, 2010 5:13 am

I feel you all have some great points here. In a perfect world it would be fabulous to be "open and honest" about our mishaps. Yet, I feel there is a time and a place to be open in disclosing one's errors. For example, if I made a slight, but fixable error while at work ... somehow, I don't feel it would be in my best interest to share that with my co-workers (lawyers). They'd eat me alive! Feed me to their children!! And, depending upon the infraction, if there was any bit of me left - I'd probably never hear the end of it.

Being open and humble to reveal one's errors is certainly an ideal. And, given the severity of a mishap, then under no circumstances should it be hidden. However, given the culture/sub-culture one is raised, lives and works within definitely can have a powerful influence. And, in some societies, this is certainly not embraced at all, as the very essence of survival lies in one's own preservation of self (given the situation).

Okay, well ... maybe it all comes down to "consequences". Like, how much someone is willing to risk. Pride, perhaps his/her job, relationships, or maybe his/her life, and the list could go on ... I'm not at all implying this is the right way, but for some (including myself), sometimes sharing an error and disclosing it is not always the best policy. Even still, I do believe constructive communication in a light the encourages openness/trust, and more, can empower people to feel "okay" with being up front about their errors is great! A place where "constructive" criticism and "positive" feedback cultivates a sense of trust that leads to feeling good about learning and growing as a person, etc. Did I go off the beaten path?! Or, am I in deep doo-doo?! =0X

P.S. This may have no relevance at all, but this documentary (which I thoroughly enjoyed) comes to mind, "A Powerful Noise" ... Love, Holly
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Re: Deep Sh*t...

Postby Ryan » Mon Feb 15, 2010 9:51 am

Hmmm... well it is a matter of approach I think... I speak now only to your example of making a mistake (and you even said fixable mistake) while working with lawyers. One, if people didn't make mistakes they would need to find a new line of work. Two, there are not many lawyers that have never lost a case and by their own beliefs every case can be won as long the right information is presented in the right manner and time... so if they lost a case they made a mistake somewhere... of course they would probably blame it on some research assistant but they would probably leave you alone about simple mistakes. Three, they know the law and a simple mistake (fixable mistake) is not grounds with which you can lose your job. Of course they can probably make it so that you will want to leave... but that's a whole other thing.
=0/

But seriously, I understand your point... and you are definitely the best judge of your own surroundings. The main point isn't "in a perfect world" but more "to help make it a more perfect world". To do our part to show people we all make mistakes and it is OK. To help tear down the facades we build around ourselves to try and show how "perfect" we are when we are in fact hiding how truly perfect our flawed and mistake making selves are. This can only have positive affects upon society as a whole.
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Re: Deep Sh*t...

Postby pineal » Mon Feb 15, 2010 11:15 am

HGolightly wrote:I feel you all have some great points here. In a perfect world it would be fabulous to be "open and honest" about our mishaps. Yet, I feel there is a time and a place to be open in disclosing one's errors. For example, if I made a slight, but fixable error while at work ... somehow, I don't feel it would be in my best interest to share that with my co-workers (lawyers). They'd eat me alive! Feed me to their children!! And, depending upon the infraction, if there was any bit of me left - I'd probably never hear the end of it.

Being open and humble to reveal one's errors is certainly an ideal. And, given the severity of a mishap, then under no circumstances should it be hidden. However, given the culture/sub-culture one is raised, lives and works within definitely can have a powerful influence. And, in some societies, this is certainly not embraced at all, as the very essence of survival lies in one's own preservation of self (given the situation).

Okay, well ... maybe it all comes down to "consequences". Like, how much someone is willing to risk. Pride, perhaps his/her job, relationships, or maybe his/her life, and the list could go on ... I'm not at all implying this is the right way, but for some (including myself), sometimes sharing an error and disclosing it is not always the best policy. Even still, I do believe constructive communication in a light the encourages openness/trust, and more, can empower people to feel "okay" with being up front about their errors is great! A place where "constructive" criticism and "positive" feedback cultivates a sense of trust that leads to feeling good about learning and growing as a person, etc. Did I go off the beaten path?! Or, am I in deep doo-doo?! =0X

P.S. This may have no relevance at all, but this documentary (which I thoroughly enjoyed) comes to mind, "A Powerful Noise" ... Love, Holly


I do agree with your view HGoLightly. I don't feel pride or ago to accept my mistakes, but if i do it with people who wish to use against me rather than using for positive purposes.

By the way Welcome to the forum H. I think I should read all your posts, seems you are having a lively sense of wit, besides a lovely face.

With Love

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Re: Deep Sh*t...

Postby Sabina » Mon Feb 15, 2010 4:33 pm

Let us leave out the work environment for a moment on the grounds that it complicates matters. So, let's focus on relationships instead, with a partner, with friends, with family and relatives,...
In my experience people have a hard time admitting their mistakes in any relationship, which is a pity.

Gandhi said "You must be the change you want to see in the world."
I try to live by that every minute of my life. It was a choice which very quickly became the most normal thing in the world, for me.
Admitting mistakes in a normal way, without a big 'tra-ra', is perhaps a small portion of that, but it can make a huge difference.
It doesn't mean that everyone will love you for it. It also doesn't mean that it won't hurt at times.
Some people just love to judge, so let them judge you... so what?
Some people will be shocked and walk away... if you care for those people, that can hurt, but you'll get over it.
Doing this persistently will eventually bring you to a better place, in my opinion.

We cannot wait for this world to become perfect and then start becoming perfect ourselves. We have to first change ourselves, and the world will follow.
It is like when you want to lose weight. Some people try dieting... which is crazy... it doesn't work that way, the weight will always return.
There is only one way to have a certain weight and that is to eat like a person who already has that weight. To move and behave like a person which already has that weight.
It will take a little while, but eventually the body will adjust and the weight will be exactly that what you want it to be.

If you want a real, a true relationship, then you have to be real as well, and being real never ever includes hiding anything. Usually people hide something out of fear of some sort. Fear may help us to realize some things but fear is not the way. Only love is and love means absolute honesty, especially when it comes to things we are not proud of.

Sabina
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Re: Deep Sh*t...

Postby HGolightly » Mon Feb 15, 2010 11:51 pm

In all its complexities ... whether it be work and/or a personal relationships in nature, which often times can be a blend of the two. Either way, it's that darn "FEAR" factor that rears its ugly head. I was once told by a trial litigator that "A good lawyer, is one who has artistically and skillfully mastered the ability to present his/her case with with the utmost persuasion by making "False, Evidence, Appearing, Real" ... I'm not a lawyer, so at best, I agree that love and honesty are the best policy.

Thank you Ryan, Pineal and Sabina! You've provided me with some great thoughts that I had not thought of to explore within my own being.

Love,
Holly
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Re: Deep Sh*t...

Postby mirjana » Tue Feb 16, 2010 12:19 am

"When you sh*t on yourself, at least you have a chance to learn from mistakes, and when it happens then keep your mouth shut."
When I said these words, what I meant was to underline the value of mistakes as a teacher on the path of personal development, and less as a teacher for others who will learn from my mistakes. That is mostly because I have learned so far that people are not ready to learn from the experiences of other people, rather they try their own choices with all that goes with it.

These points that Heidi, Sabina in her first post and after that Holly, Pineal and Ryan said, were very inspiring for me, although I was closer to Holly's and Pineal's thoughts.
But, Sabina's last response was awakening and opened another door. It was full of great thoughts which didn't sound only theoretically but profoundly true and they touched me very much. Additional touch came through Holly's answer in her second post, about Fear as a grey eminency that masters our path quite often. All that confirmed a profound feeling about that what Sabina has said in her second post, not only as beautifully said, but touching the heart as a truth worth standing behind it.
I gave you Kudos for your answer to Alvino in another topic Sabina, but this answer deserves another Kudos. As soon as I am able to do it again, according to the rules for Kudos, I shall give it for this answer.
After these words of you , I have nothing more to say in this topic.


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