Coincidence or subliminal message?

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Coincidence or subliminal message?

Postby searching » Thu Dec 09, 2010 7:31 pm

I am new to this board and am justing finding my way in the world of spirituality. I lost my husband to cancer of September 4th of this year and it has been quite a journey, both through his last six months before he passed and in the three months since. If you had asked either of us prior to this what our thoughts were with regards to the "hereafter" and such topics we both likely would have responded that our jury was out. I don't think it was that we didn't believe - it's simply that we just did not know. Many things happend especially during my husband's last 19 days in hospice that started to transform me and change my thinking. I also feel very strongly that he has been with me - especially in those first few weeks after his death. Lately I do not so much feel like he is around but I have had a couple of things happen that previously I would have put down to "coincidence" - but instead now have me wondering.

Last week I was reading Morri Album's "The Five People You Will Meet In Heaven". The 4th person the protagonist meets in Heaven is his wife -and I go through reading their conversation in Heaven. The next chapter goes into their relationship on earth. I got to the bottom of a page and decided to get up and get myself a popsicle out of the freezer. Now this was always a big joke with my husband and I - my love of popsicles - he always teased me, and at one point it was he that suggested that rather running back and forth to the store that I have a supply for myself in the fridge. So I get my popsicle and I sit down once again to read.

I picked up the book, turned the page and read the next paragraph: "One July evening, they found themselves walking by the ocean, eating grape popsicles etc. etc. ". I kept on reading and then stoped short! Whoa - what did I just read? I went back and read it again and then looked at the grape popsicle that was in my hand. Stunned I put the book down and just sat there. I can't explain the feelings that ran through me at that time. I wanted so to believe that this was a message from my husband saying "I am here with you". Is this coincidence and am I just wanting to believe it's not? I question why did I get up right at that time to get a popsicle, then turn the page to read what I did - and why did I choose grape out of the 3 flavours in the box, where normally I would choose my favourite orange flavour.

A couple of other things have happened to me - and also to my step-daughter - "coincidences" which really have me wondering.

Lynda
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Re: Coincidence or subliminal message?

Postby dermot » Fri Dec 10, 2010 2:58 am

Hi Lynda, and welcome to DS.

Your story is lovely, anyone reading it would i think appreciate the depth of feeling in those words and between you and your husband.
I dont think anyone can fully appreciate the depth you two had, what i would say to you is that its evident that you believe truly that you still have 'him' around.
I think you should treasure that, believe it as it is, and let nobody or any part of you 'play' with whats right or wrong, correct or mistaken......its simply not necessary or anyone else's business.

Thank you for your story, long may you find comfort in your openness.

d.
....the heart only whispers, be still and listen....
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Re: Coincidence or subliminal message?

Postby searching » Fri Dec 10, 2010 4:34 am

Thank you Dermot for your encouraging words. I think I have come to accepting that attitude. It matters not what other people think. I guess I will never know for sure if these coincidences are messages from my husband, but if it gives me comfort to think they do -then that's all that matters. I am learning that there is so much out there that we do not know about and so I am trying to stay open to everything. I keep the channels open by talking to my husband on a regular basis and I write a letter to him daily. Of course this is part of my grief therapy and it does help. Thanks again.

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Re: Coincidence or subliminal message?

Postby mirjana » Fri Dec 10, 2010 12:17 pm

Hi Lynda,

Welcome to DS and thank you so much for such an open and truly personal story you have shared with us. I appreciate it very much and admire such approach to life and people. Open minded people are deep spirits and I do hope and believe that you will feel comfortable between us here.
I enjoyed every line of your story as it is authentical and based on personal experience. Still it is so archetypal that the same time it must touch every hurt.
Dermot put it very well when telling “…long may you find comfort in your openness.” I agree with him and I can only add to it that your openness is comforting for those who have been dealing at this time similar life stories.

=0)
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Re: Coincidence or subliminal message?

Postby searching » Fri Dec 10, 2010 3:13 pm

Thank you Mirjana. I do have a tendancy to wear my heart on my sleeve. Part of of the reason for me telling these stories to anybody who will listen, is that it keeps my husband close to me. Afterall my hurt is still raw -it is just barely over 3 months. Last night they held a Celebration of Healing and Remembrance at the hospice where he spent his last days. 105 names in all rolled past on a huge video screen, each on their own beautiful scene for a backdrop. 105 names in this past year!! It certainly tugged at ones hearstrings. The love and compassion shown not only by the hospice, but felt through all those around us - other families who have lost their loved ones too, was truly inspiring. It was like one big family, each supporting the other. It was wonderful. So, I just wanted to share this too.

Cheers, Lynda
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Re: Coincidence or subliminal message?

Postby Ryan » Sat Dec 11, 2010 1:39 am

Hello Lynda... and welcome...

I am sorry for your loss and the difficult times you all have endured... and I would say that there is so much to which none of us have the answers and it brings to mind something Deepak Chopra said... I can't quote him exactly but it was something along the lines of "... I will always seek the company of those that are in search of the answers (truth?) and I want to run from those that have found it...". To me that says it all... there is soooo much that is not understood/known and while I am pretty sure there are some that possess a knowledge of somethings that others do not... and for the most part... if they spoke up about it they would probably be ridiculed and labeled insane... but... who really knows? Not me, but I believe all kinds of things are possible...

Of course, I do not know you, your husband, or how your relationship was... but sure... I think he could be with you... comfort you... to help you through it all... why not?
[R] If you don't understand something I said or why I said it... ask me.
If you don't want to understand something I said or why I said it... tell me.
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Re: Coincidence or subliminal message?

Postby searching » Sat Dec 11, 2010 2:05 am

Thank you Ryan, your words are a great comfort to me, especially tonight as I seem to be having a particularly hard time. Here's the thing - it always seems when I am going through something like this I either get a telephone call that is uplifting or I sign on to the computer and get some kind of message of hope from someone. Tonight you gave me that hope so thank you. Coincidence? or Meant to be? I agree that there is so much we know nothing about, and I also agree that if I want to believe my husband is here in spirit then that is alright too because it gives me comfort. I recall what one of the nurses at hospice said to me not long ago after my husband passed. She had watched us and she commented that she felt we were very deeply connected. Anything that I have read in this genre tells me that if we are open, we become so much more aware and can therefore experience more than we normally would. Food for thought!

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Re: Coincidence or subliminal message?

Postby crystaldart » Sat Dec 11, 2010 5:30 pm

To answer this, let me narrate a small incident from the life of the great Sage Thiruvalluvar and his devoted wife Vasuki who lived in 7th Century at the southern tip of India.

After a long happy years of marriage, the day came for Vasuki to depart from this worldly life.
As Vasuki was about to die, her husband, the Sage Thiruvalluvar asked if there was anything he could do for her. "Yes, dear husband," came her faint reply. "All our wedded life I have had a question which you could answer. From the first day of our marriage, I have been placing a small cup of fresh water and a needle beside you at every meal. May I know, my Lord, why you bid me to do this?"

Valluvar replied, "Dearest wife, I wanted the water and needle nearby so that, if you spilled any rice while serving me, I would be able to pick it up with the needle and rinse it with the water. However, as you never dropped a single grain in all those years, there was never an occasion to put these things to use." Her question answered, Vasuki breathed her last. The story idealizes the wifely attitude of complete devotion to her husband, and reflects in the perfect way Vasuki carried out her duties, not once in all their life dropping so much as a single grain of rice!

What is the love that existed between these couples?. It transcended the stage of mere ‘falling in Love’. and elevated to the purest form - devotion. This is the love worth loving and yearning for.

It’s said Love at perfection is divinity. When we can love other above all difference, good or bad, beyond reasons and when the bond of love elevate the life & spirit of the other person to realms of perfection, then at last, we have found true love.
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Re: Coincidence or subliminal message?

Postby searching » Mon Dec 13, 2010 4:53 pm

Thank you Crystal for your post - it made a lot of sense to me.

I have two more recent "coincidences" to share. More and more I am becoming curious about this aspect of life. Am I making too much of it all - who knows?

The first one was a couple of days ago I was buying special family Christmas cards at Shoppers Drug Mart and I was feeling sad that for the first time I would not be buying one for Craig. Anyway, I finished up all my purchases and went to the car, bending down to put everything on the seat. When I stood I looked straight ahead and at the same instant an 18 wheeler was going down the road past my vision - On the side the advertisment said in huge letters - "Live Ultimate" - it was a Nestles Chocolate advertisement. By the time I got in my car the transport had entered the parking lot and passed directly behind my car and once again I looked at the words "Live Ultimate". Rightly or wrongly I took this as a message from Craig saying "Live -you are alive - live your ultimate life."

Second coincidence. My cousin has been sending me old Sinatra tunes to load onto my Windows Media. One came in yesterday in the afternoon and for some reason I did not open the attachment. This morning I am having a particularly hard time with memories of Craig. For some reason I am questioning "did he really love me" - this is my insecurity coming out again. I had dissolved into tears - with various old love notes he had written me years ago, sitting in front of me - when all of a sudden I opened email. My cousins email said it was a Sinatra tune of the day , a classic tune from 1977 and the message says "you won't find this anywhere". I opened the attachment and Sinatra started singing "When I go to sleep I never count sheep I count all the charms about Linda". I cried through the whole song, but almost immediately afterwards a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I felt better.

Am I choosing to believe these are my messages from the spirit of Craig? Probably, and I'll never know for sure. <3

Lynda
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Re: Coincidence or subliminal message?

Postby dermot » Mon Dec 13, 2010 11:48 pm

Hi Lynda, i suppose the choice is to believe in what you know, what your experience with Craig meant to you, or to succumb to that old devil 'self doubt'.

One experience leads to a feeling of joy and expansion, comfort and hope.

The other option leads to contraction, fear, insecurity and negative thinking.

Theres no real choice is there??????????????????????

d.
....the heart only whispers, be still and listen....
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