Change & Fear

Metaphysical, spiritual, philosophical or mystical topics.
The forum for talks about the intangible universe, the human mind, and the soul.

Change & Fear

Postby Sabina » Mon Jan 18, 2010 4:06 pm

There are people who dislike change, or any kind of unknown. They use their brain and wit not to solve a situation but rather rationalize why it cannot be solved. They seem to prefer to complain about their situation or life, people, etc. in general.

The most obvious conclusion as to why they are that way seems to be fear, but is it the only conclusion? Is there a way to help someone who is in a "bad situation" (according to their own words) if they seem to reject the notion of change and they do so categorically, passionately, even though it is probably (but at least possibly) the solution to their current problem?

Sabina

PS: This topic was inspired by The Obstacle on the Path and some of the talks we've had here recently.
"Whether You believe you can, or you can't, you are right."
User avatar
Sabina
 
Posts: 1752
Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2009 7:11 am
Location: Vienna, Austria
Personality: Ambivert
Favorite book: Confession by Tolstoy + Chess novel by Zweig
Favorite movie: Matrix + Baraka
Things I like: the arts, free thinkers, creativity, passion, intelligence, honesty
State of Mind or Tendency: Artistic
Kudos: 61

Re: Change & Fear

Postby Ryan » Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:37 pm

It depends... on whether or not they want your help.
[R] If you don't understand something I said or why I said it... ask me.
If you don't want to understand something I said or why I said it... tell me.
User avatar
Ryan
 
Posts: 709
Joined: Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:54 pm
Location: Vienna, Austria
Personality: Ambivert
Favorite book: no favorite book but favorite stories
Favorite movie: the Star Wars saga
Things I like: My family, nature, movies, games, music... more later
State of Mind or Tendency: Inspired
Kudos: 50

Re: Change & Fear

Postby Sabina » Mon Jan 18, 2010 6:01 pm

Are you saying you wouldn't ask about and possibly challenge anyone's ideas unless they asked you to do so?

Sabina
"Whether You believe you can, or you can't, you are right."
User avatar
Sabina
 
Posts: 1752
Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2009 7:11 am
Location: Vienna, Austria
Personality: Ambivert
Favorite book: Confession by Tolstoy + Chess novel by Zweig
Favorite movie: Matrix + Baraka
Things I like: the arts, free thinkers, creativity, passion, intelligence, honesty
State of Mind or Tendency: Artistic
Kudos: 61

Re: Change & Fear

Postby Ryan » Mon Jan 18, 2010 6:36 pm

No, the question is stated with the implication that one has already made attempts to help through the following words:
Sabina wrote:if they seem to reject the notion of change and they do so categorically, passionately, even though it is probably (but at least possibly) the solution to their current problem?
So if the help is initially rejected I would have to find out whether or not that person truly wants help or not.
[R] If you don't understand something I said or why I said it... ask me.
If you don't want to understand something I said or why I said it... tell me.
User avatar
Ryan
 
Posts: 709
Joined: Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:54 pm
Location: Vienna, Austria
Personality: Ambivert
Favorite book: no favorite book but favorite stories
Favorite movie: the Star Wars saga
Things I like: My family, nature, movies, games, music... more later
State of Mind or Tendency: Inspired
Kudos: 50

Re: Change & Fear

Postby Sabina » Mon Jan 18, 2010 6:38 pm

Let's assume that they don't say the words "I want help", but they are complaining about their situation. You know them and care for them and their happiness.. and they are obviously unhappy, not only that it is plain to see, but they also express it in words.
Is that more clear now?
"Whether You believe you can, or you can't, you are right."
User avatar
Sabina
 
Posts: 1752
Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2009 7:11 am
Location: Vienna, Austria
Personality: Ambivert
Favorite book: Confession by Tolstoy + Chess novel by Zweig
Favorite movie: Matrix + Baraka
Things I like: the arts, free thinkers, creativity, passion, intelligence, honesty
State of Mind or Tendency: Artistic
Kudos: 61

Re: Change & Fear

Postby Ryan » Mon Jan 18, 2010 8:00 pm

Then yes, I would simply respond because it is my natural approach... maybe I assume too much that if the person is complaining to me they are interested in my thoughts on the matter... I don't know, but if their reaction to whatever I would suggest is met with doubt and skepticism then there would probably come a point where I would say something like... "whoo" Yep! You seem to be in quite a jam! Don't worry, the right solution will present itself when the time is right..." and then try to change the subject.
[R] If you don't understand something I said or why I said it... ask me.
If you don't want to understand something I said or why I said it... tell me.
User avatar
Ryan
 
Posts: 709
Joined: Wed Dec 16, 2009 7:54 pm
Location: Vienna, Austria
Personality: Ambivert
Favorite book: no favorite book but favorite stories
Favorite movie: the Star Wars saga
Things I like: My family, nature, movies, games, music... more later
State of Mind or Tendency: Inspired
Kudos: 50

Re: Change & Fear

Postby GenerousGeorge » Mon Jan 18, 2010 9:34 pm

In a funny way, it's okay because I like being different and it gives me a competitive advantage in the jewelry world. =0/ More later.
User avatar
GenerousGeorge
 
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Jan 10, 2010 5:11 am
Location: Houston Texas
Personality: Extrovert
State of Mind or Tendency: Optimistic
Kudos: 19

Re: Change & Fear

Postby Sabina » Mon Jan 18, 2010 9:51 pm

Hi Generous George,

I am not sure I understand. What exactly is ok?

Sabina
"Whether You believe you can, or you can't, you are right."
User avatar
Sabina
 
Posts: 1752
Joined: Sun Dec 20, 2009 7:11 am
Location: Vienna, Austria
Personality: Ambivert
Favorite book: Confession by Tolstoy + Chess novel by Zweig
Favorite movie: Matrix + Baraka
Things I like: the arts, free thinkers, creativity, passion, intelligence, honesty
State of Mind or Tendency: Artistic
Kudos: 61

Re: Change & Fear

Postby GenerousGeorge » Mon Jan 18, 2010 9:53 pm

My experience with this scenario is that until people are really willing it is impossible to help them.

The best you can do is "inspire by example" One of the things I pray about often is to have the WILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT CHANGE, it is closely related to the willingness to be honest with myself. In some synergystic way when I ask for that kind of help from a "higher power" I often get it in unexpected examples and ways. Maybe it's a "mind trick" Maybe it's "The Force", maybe it's Jesus, I don't know, but I know it works and that is a start.

"Progress, not perfection......more will be revealed later." This is a concept I try to remember and practice with patience and a positive outllok.

Bottom line though, we cannot do it for someone else no matter how much we may want to and love them.
User avatar
GenerousGeorge
 
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Jan 10, 2010 5:11 am
Location: Houston Texas
Personality: Extrovert
State of Mind or Tendency: Optimistic
Kudos: 19

Re: Change & Fear

Postby GenerousGeorge » Mon Jan 18, 2010 9:54 pm

OH....... in a funny way it is okay that most are not as receptive to change as me. =0o
User avatar
GenerousGeorge
 
Posts: 327
Joined: Sun Jan 10, 2010 5:11 am
Location: Houston Texas
Personality: Extrovert
State of Mind or Tendency: Optimistic
Kudos: 19

Next

Return to Spirited Debate

Who is online

Registered users: No registered users

cron
StumbleUpon Digg Delicious Reddit Yahoo Google Live Facebook Twitter MySpace