Page 1 of 6

Change & Fear

PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 4:06 pm
by Sabina
There are people who dislike change, or any kind of unknown. They use their brain and wit not to solve a situation but rather rationalize why it cannot be solved. They seem to prefer to complain about their situation or life, people, etc. in general.

The most obvious conclusion as to why they are that way seems to be fear, but is it the only conclusion? Is there a way to help someone who is in a "bad situation" (according to their own words) if they seem to reject the notion of change and they do so categorically, passionately, even though it is probably (but at least possibly) the solution to their current problem?

Sabina

PS: This topic was inspired by [url=http://www.deepspirits.com/exploration/the-obstacle-on-the-path-t122.html]The Obstacle on the Path[/url] and some of the talks we've had here recently.

Re: Change & Fear

PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 5:37 pm
by Ryan
It depends... on whether or not they want your help.

Re: Change & Fear

PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 6:01 pm
by Sabina
Are you saying you wouldn't ask about and possibly challenge anyone's ideas unless they asked you to do so?

Sabina

Re: Change & Fear

PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 6:36 pm
by Ryan
No, the question is stated with the implication that one has already made attempts to help through the following words:[quote="Sabina"]if they seem to reject the notion of change and they do so categorically, passionately, even though it is probably (but at least possibly) the solution to their current problem?
So if the help is initially rejected I would have to find out whether or not that person truly wants help or not.

Re: Change & Fear

PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 6:38 pm
by Sabina
Let's assume that they don't say the words "I want help", but they are complaining about their situation. You know them and care for them and their happiness.. and they are obviously unhappy, not only that it is plain to see, but they also express it in words.
Is that more clear now?

Re: Change & Fear

PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 8:00 pm
by Ryan
Then yes, I would simply respond because it is my natural approach... maybe I assume too much that if the person is complaining to me they are interested in my thoughts on the matter... I don't know, but if their reaction to whatever I would suggest is met with doubt and skepticism then there would probably come a point where I would say something like... "whoo" Yep! You seem to be in quite a jam! Don't worry, the right solution will present itself when the time is right..." and then try to change the subject.

Re: Change & Fear

PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 9:34 pm
by GenerousGeorge
In a funny way, it's okay because I like being different and it gives me a competitive advantage in the jewelry world. =0/ More later.

Re: Change & Fear

PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 9:51 pm
by Sabina
Hi Generous George,

I am not sure I understand. What exactly is ok?

Sabina

Re: Change & Fear

PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 9:53 pm
by GenerousGeorge
My experience with this scenario is that until people are really willing it is impossible to help them.

The best you can do is "inspire by example" One of the things I pray about often is to have the WILLINGNESS TO ACCEPT CHANGE, it is closely related to the willingness to be honest with myself. In some synergystic way when I ask for that kind of help from a "higher power" I often get it in unexpected examples and ways. Maybe it's a "mind trick" Maybe it's "The Force", maybe it's Jesus, I don't know, but I know it works and that is a start.

"Progress, not perfection......more will be revealed later." This is a concept I try to remember and practice with patience and a positive outllok.

Bottom line though, we cannot do it for someone else no matter how much we may want to and love them.

Re: Change & Fear

PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 9:54 pm
by GenerousGeorge
OH....... in a funny way it is okay that most are not as receptive to change as me. =0o